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» Scarleteen Boards: 2000 - 2014 (Archive) » SCARLETEEN CENTRAL » Relationships » guys sharing intimate details

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Author Topic: guys sharing intimate details
cool87
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I'm curious about something. Normally, a lot of girls talk about almost everything with their girlfriends. At least, that's what I do. Like we talk about guys and sometimes even about intimate details, like first time, sex problems and things like that...

So I was wondering, are guys also close to their friends. I mean do you think guys share with their friends also intimate details about sex relationships ? Are they as close to their friends as girls are ? I'll like to have guys point of view also.

Because like the other day I went out with my partner and his friends and it felt a little weird. It seems as if they knew about us and what was going on, like they knew about our intimate details. It's an impression I had. I'm going to ask my partner about it (if he told them, he should be honest about it) but I wanted to ask your point of view first.

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Posts: 3598 | From: Canada | Registered: Jun 2006  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
bitttersweeeeeet
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It's an interesting point.. I wonder about that sometimes, too.

I don't see it as a major gender differentiation though.. Personally, I don't like to kiss and tell. Neither does my boyfriend. So it's not like I'm the girl so I go gab, and he's the boy so he doesn't.

In my lifetime, I've had primarily male friends though, and they do indulge here and there.. it really depends on a person's personality.. if they are the type to pay attention to detail, they probably would share little details about your intimacy.

From experience, another thing I've noticed is guys are typically the type to just assume their buddy has had sex with his girlfriend; as opposed to girls, who I have noticed seem to ask before assuming. So I hear guys say things like "so is the sex good?" but girls say things like "have you guys had sex yet?"

Get what I mean?

... I'm blabbing ... I'll stop.

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feefiefofemme
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It seems like, from what I've heard, that girls tend to talk in more technical terms about sex. It may just be the people I've known, but all my girl friends (myself included) talk about sex pretty clinically, and my guy friends talk about it more humourously, or use slang terms. Maybe that's just because they feel uncomfortable talking about it any other way around me or around girls? Who knows. But it seems like guys and girls talk about sex more or less the same amount, just in different ways.
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Brianna
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It seems that males talk about it in a joking manner, or talk about it in a pure sexual matter. Rarely have I heard of a man talk to another male friend about the emotional intimacy during sexual intercourse. That's just my personal standpoint though; I'm sure there are many men who talk about emotions during sex with their male friends.

Women seem to talk a little bit about emotions, but a lot of women seek advice from their friends, even if they are not as experienced as they. I know I ask my virgin friends if what I'm doing is right, or if it's normal for something to occur.

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ASargent42
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Yes, they do. At least in my case. Apparently, my ex and a friend got drunk, and the ex decided to spill everythong about me, and technicques i use for things, and thinks about my body. I was not very happy. Luckily, another one of my friends was around, and overheard, and basically b*thched both of them out for talking about me like that.

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Amanda
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September
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Actually, I don't think it's so much a question of gender as it is a question of personality and personal preference.

I am female and I never share details, intimate or otherwise, with anyone. I do talk about sex and relationship with female friends, but there is a certain line we never cross.

My boyfriend never talks about details with his friends, either, but I do have a few male friends who do indulge me with stories about their relationships and sex life.

It comes down to whether or not someone is a private person, not which gender they are.

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Johanna
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"The question is not who will let me, but who is going to stop me." -Ayn Rand

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proofman
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I'm a guy. No, I usually don't talk about relationship problems with my other guy friends, and certainly not about questions of details of sex. I do, however, ask my ladyfriends all sorts of questions. For some reason or another, they understand things better, and I feel a lot better after talking to them about whatever relationship problems I may have.

I don't know why this is, but in my experience, talking with my lady friends has always been helpful.

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Ikeren
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I don't share details about my partners. Occasionally I will share things about what I've done, but it always avoids discussing my partner while doing it.

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19, male, interested in Sadomasochism (BDSM) and some bisexual tendancies.

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feefiefofemme
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"Actually, I don't think it's so much a question of gender as it is a question of personality and personal preference.

I am female and I never share details, intimate or otherwise, with anyone. I do talk about sex and relationship with female friends, but there is a certain line we never cross."

You make a very valid point. I'm generally a very private person, myself, and so I only share intimate details with my two closest friends. But never too intimate. It is true with us as well that there are some boundaries.

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summergoddess
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It really varies. It depends how private they are.

During the first year of having sex, it was very open in discussion. I was not ashamed to say I wasn't a virgin and able to talk about sex.

However even now that it's been 5 1/2 years since i lost my virginity and now married, I still talk about sex, but not so much of my sex life. Just sex and sexual activities in general. This discussion tends to happen more in with my guy friends (not just my husband). My girlfriends and I do have talked about sex and the like, but it's very limited. Some are very private (1 is completely open with me) and other haven't had sex yet.

My husband on the other hand was very open with OUR sex life when we started dating (and also because he had lost his virginity to me) and I didn't like how he told his friends of how my vagina is, the positons that we do (i'm not that detailed when it comes to talking about our sex life) and so on. I didn't care that they know that we are having sex but things said after bothered me. Isaiah and I had the talk not long after I found out and now he rarely talks about our sex life.

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000
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I am a female and I discuss pretty much anything about sex or emotions with my closest friends. I've known guys who do the same, and guys who don't.
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cool87
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edited

[ 10-07-2006, 03:41 PM: Message edited by: cool87 ]

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Mathilde
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I have to agree with September. It really depends on the person.

I am not really one to blab about intimate details. There is only one girlfriend of mine that I would even consider sharing my details with, and that's because I trust that she won't blab to the world. Plus, we are pretty much in the same boat relationship-wise, so it's easy to talk to one another about issues we're having. [Smile]

I don't really think it's proper to talk openly about it with everyone, however. With most of my friends, I'm pretty tight-lipped when it comes to my "sex life." My boyfriend is a VERY private person, so I know that I can trust him. He thinks that it's "none of [his friends'] business." He's very good with keeping things to himself, which I admire in him. [Smile]

/rantrant

Posts: 80 | From: Alabama, USA | Registered: Jan 2006  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
   

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