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» Scarleteen Boards: 2000 - 2014 (Archive) » SCARLETEEN CENTRAL » Relationships » in love .. ?

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Author Topic: in love .. ?
ag
Neophyte
Member # 30905

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i love my boyfriend .. we've been together for almost 11 months now and hes a really great person .. but sometimes i wonder if im good enough for him. he doesnt always treat me great and i always have to pay for EVERYTHING including his stuff .. i feel like i do stuff for him so he wont leave me but idk what i should do =/ should i say something and risk getting in a fight or should i just leave it alone and keep my mouth shut

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love you <3 allie !

Posts: 3 | From: everett | Registered: Sep 2006  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
thathollygirl
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Let's start from the assumption you're good enough for him or better, since you seem like a fine person.

Why do you have to pay for all his things? Does he genuinely need the financial help, or is it just a feeling of obligation on your part? You should never have to do anything you don't want to just so someone will stay.

I think you should definitely discuss your feelings with him. If there's a fight over it, and you're just telling him how you feel, you might want to consider why you're in this relationship.

Posts: 70 | From: place | Registered: Jul 2006  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
000
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Member # 30201

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first you say he's a really great person. then you say he doesn't always treat you great. I think you need to step back for a moment and evaluate the contradiction in those statements. Someone who is a great person always tries to be respectful of other people and works to negotiate things so that both people in the relationship are happy most of the time.

Communication is important. If you think he should pay for his own stuff then you need to tell him you feel that way. If he doesn't respect your needs, then he's not a great guy and maybe you should consider some distance. If one person in a relationship is constantly afraid of the other person leaving them for them being themself or communicating openly, that's either a sign of a lack of trust or a sign of an imbalance in power, or both. Either way, keeping your mouth shut is probably not the answer. You need to take care of yourself.

[ 09-28-2006, 03:45 PM: Message edited by: iheartdc ]

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ag
Neophyte
Member # 30905

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i pay for things because he doesnt have the money because he buys things for himself and when it comes to doing things with me he doesnt have any left. and i know if hes that upset over it then i should break it off but i really love him =/

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love you <3 allie !

Posts: 3 | From: everett | Registered: Sep 2006  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
000
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well, something you will learn if you haven't already, is that love comes and goes a lot in life. It's a wonderful thing, but it probably shouldn't be somethign you're sacrificing your personal welfare over. Your chances of finding someone to love who will love and respect you back are better if you don't linger in unfulfilling relationships.
Posts: 443 | Registered: Aug 2006  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
   

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