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» Scarleteen Boards: 2000 - 2014 (Archive) » SCARLETEEN CENTRAL » Relationships » Need help yet again

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Author Topic: Need help yet again
Member # 6514

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Ok so yea. I'm getting my divorce, and the guy that I'm seeing (not really seeing but talking to a lot) wants to get a place with me after this whole beef is taken care of. I want to be with this guy, I want to make things develop with him, but want to wait for this divorce to be final. I talked to Max and he comes home from Iraq on Sunday 9/30. He has been telling me that he wantsme and only me, is willing to work out our problems and PROMISES me that he will never ever hit me or treat me the way he did ever again. I believe him sometimes, but i guess I'll believe it when I see it right? I'm still torn bewteen the 2, I'm getting the divorce for my benefit and health not anyone elses. But I really wanna try things out with this other guy. What should I do? Should I give this a shot after my divorce is final? he said the he will wait for me and he will be there for me whenever I need him but i guess I just don't know what to do... help!

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Posts: 294 | From: Minneapolis | Registered: Jan 2002  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Executive Director & Founder
Member # 3

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I advise you take at least six months or so for yourself first.

Really, Ashley, with everything that's happened and being in the process of divorce, you haven't yet even had the chance to really spend time, by yourself, process everything, think about what you want and need (not just in a relationship -- for yourself). Likely, you haven't had any abuse counseling, either.

Whether or not this guy is the greatest thing ever, you still need that time: for perspective, for some solace, for some space to make sense of everything in and to find out who YOU are separate from ANY guy.

Don't rush in to a bigger commitment, and into someone else's house again. Tell this guy that you'll revisit the living-together idea again in the spring.

Heather Corinna, Executive Director & Founder, Scarleteen
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Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has. - Margaret Mead

Posts: 68290 | From: An island near Seattle | Registered: May 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator

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