posted
i know this may seem like a very common topic but im really feeling kinda bummed....my boyfriend and i have been going out for almost 8 months and we really actually are truley in love....i have had other relationships before and i can feel the difference...we just dropped him off for college and i have just been devestated...i cant stop crying all the time and i feel like i cant even be happy around my friends...i will get o drive up once in a while but my parents are pretty strict and would never let me stay over...are there any tips you would suggest to ease this transition...i really appreciate any help thanks
Posts: 32 | From: new jersey | Registered: May 2006
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posted
It looks like you two will have to have a long-distance relationship for the time being. Find a form of communication that fits the best into your schedule and is the easiest for you both to use. If you don't want to rack up phone bills, instant message. If instant messaging gets too dull, take a little time each day to exchange emails. Some couples even prefer to go retro and exclusively communicate through love letters.
Is it possible that he could drive down to see you? It's very understandable on your parents' part to not want their minor child to stay on campus. Would they allow him to stay with you/nearby occassionally?
It's not the end of the world. Really, it's not. Quite a change, but you'll become accustomed to it with time and plenty of communication. You may even find the experience enriching; you really do come to appreciate the time you physically get with a loved one when you wait between visits.
A quick board search will turn up tons of threads on going to college/new LDR's, and I'll bet you'll find them chock-full of practical advice, tips, and ideas.
Posts: 4636 | From: USA/Northern Europe | Registered: Oct 2005
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yeah thanks actually that helps a lot...we do like to write eachother real letters..that is actually what we did when we had to leave eachother was exchange letters...what did you mean about the would he be able to stay close to me...and he cant really drive up because you arent aloud to have a car on campus your first year but he sometimes can go home with friends
Posts: 32 | From: new jersey | Registered: May 2006
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posted
I was assuming that he had a car of his own, my apologies. Even so, I meant to ask if your parents would be willing to compromise by allowing him to stay with you, under their roof, versus you staying at school with him for visits?
You can figure out what to do about visits as you go along. Ask anybody who's been in an LDR and I'm sure that they'll tell you that among the most important things when it comes to making it work are trust and optimism, along with excellent communication. Good luck to both of you!
Posts: 4636 | From: USA/Northern Europe | Registered: Oct 2005
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thanks....um whats ldr or whatever that was...and maybe i could ask about him staying over im just scared haha.....i think maybe i need to explain to them that im not trying to get away with anything im really not...i dont want him staying over so that we can have sex or me stay over so we can drink or something ..we do have sex and im on birth control my mom knows but im not sure what they are so worried about
-------------------- ~alyssa~ Posts: 32 | From: new jersey | Registered: May 2006
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I'm in the same situation. Been in a relationship with The Boy since last November, and he moved into his dorm last week. It's tough, but we're both stubborn and want this to work, so we're giving an LDR (long distance relationship) a shot.
My advice on communication? Phone calls/IM = yay! Letters are also nice, because you can go back and read those later when you're feeling lonely.
There can't be any harm in asking your parents about him staying over. The Boy did that a few times this summer. He slept in the basement, and I stayed in my room on the second floor until the morning rolled around. Maybe if you suggest something similar -- sleeping in separate rooms -- they'll be more receptive to the idea.
Posts: 39 | From: United States | Registered: May 2006
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