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» Scarleteen Boards: 2000 - 2014 (Archive) » SCARLETEEN CENTRAL » Relationships » dealing with a cheater

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Author Topic: dealing with a cheater
Member # 27839

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So I just found out that my ex-girlfriend cheated on me while we were still going out... from the guy she messed around with. He says she initiated it.

Due to it being summer break from college, I'm not going to see her person-to-person for another three weeks, and then when I do see her, I'm not sure if I'll bitch her out or start crying or both. We have the same circle of friends at college, and are both active in theater.

But the thing is, after I'm done bitching her out, I'm not sure I'm going to be able to talk to her again. But I really don't want to burn bridges with our mutual friends/the theater department, because I don't want her to ruin anything else for me.

So I guess my question is, for those of you who have been cheated on and then needed to interact with that person on a daily basis, how did you cope? (any insight not from personal experience is MORE than welcome, as I'm pretty much grasping at straws right now) Thank you.

amawesome - (adj.) a combination of 'amazing' and 'awesome,' usually by someone who has tied on a few too many. Ex: No, dude, listen! I like, luv ya man! I mean, you're like, amawesome!

Posts: 65 | From: Colorado Springs, CO | Registered: Mar 2006  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
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While I've been cheated on, as well, the situation was very different from yours and I don't think my experience is going to help much.

But. If you want to continue to move in the same social circles as her and participate in the same extracurricular activities, then I think you'll want to be civil with her. Which means that 'bitching her out', while an understandable reaction, isn't going to be the most condusive to maintaining a sort of friendship.

If I understand correctly, you've only heard the guy's side so far. So why don't you wait until she returns and then sit down with her and talk this over. You're already broken up, right? That means that the relationship didn't work out, anyway, and while finding out that she cheated on you sucks majorly - it's not really going to change much. So talk to her, get her side, and tell her how you feel about it: that you're disappointed and angry, but that you don't want this to ruin your shared social activities. You're both in college, so you should be at an age where you can handle this maturely.

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"The question is not who will let me, but who is going to stop me." -Ayn Rand

Posts: 9192 | From: Cologne, Germany | Registered: Sep 2005  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator

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