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» Scarleteen Boards: 2000 - 2014 (Archive) » SCARLETEEN CENTRAL » Relationships » My Boyfriends jealous ex..

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Author Topic: My Boyfriends jealous ex..
rockett
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Member # 20001

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I have been with my boyfriend for about 6 months, things between him and I couldn't be any better.. but a few years ago he had a thing for this girl that lives across the street from him. They both liked eachother at the time and they ended up hooking up and going out for like a week. Well it's been 2 years since then and they are still neighbors. I'm going to call his old crush 'Katie' and my boyfriend 'Eric'.. Well before i even met my boyfriend, Katie and I were good friends, she is the one that actually got me to know Eric better. Even before Eric and I started going out Katie and I stopped communicating. I need you to keep in mind that I am 16 years old, Katie is 14 and Eric is 17. Well Katie has alot of friends but she always seems to drop them and move on. She tries to act like she is really mature but when it comes down to it she is dropping friends for no good reason causing tons of drama for the most immature reasons. The whole point of my post is that well when Eric and I started going out and things were really good between us Katie saw that and started to just hate on me, like for instance she is always at my boyfriends work because she is friends with someone there and she will always have to say something rude about me if his name is mentioned. I'll try to talk to her and ask her whats her deal and she will never listen to what I say and just tell me i'm and idiot when i'm just trying to be nice to her. I haven't done anything intentionally to hurt her and she has even told me that she doesnt like Eric more than a friend at all infanct she just tells me she hates him but thats talking from her really immature side. Yeah well I thought she finally got over it and would just leave me and Eric alone but nope.. she never talks to me in person she always has to say everything behind my back to her friends or over the internet. She started posting rude comments on his myspace on his pictures of him and i saying 'oh my god im going to barf' or blah blah your girlfriend is so ugly... i don't get it her and I use to be pretty good friends. I know i know myspace is drama drama. She is good friends with older kids who are dumb enough put up with her immatureness and listen to her talk her crap about me and then rumors start. Its really irratating me and she doesnt care what I say to her, it's obvious she is super jealous but if i tell her that she'll flip out act like shes 8 years old, tell all her older friends and make then turn against me.. yeah you know where this is going. What should I do about her!!? I'm sick of this!!

[ 07-27-2006, 06:57 PM: Message edited by: rockett ]

Posts: 22 | From: california | Registered: Sep 2004  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Heather
Executive Director & Founder
Member # 3

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I'm willing to bet that less than a year from now?

This won't be an issue.

I'd stop trying to talk to her about it: clearly, she's not ready for/interested in that. And your boyfriend can simply be on top of his myspace and clean up what she puts there: of course, he can also block her so she can't comment there at all.

Sounds to me like she's still carrying a torch, and feels betrayed by you in this regard, even if that's unreasonable. Also sounds like she's just not yet of a maturity level -- or is troubled in some other way -- to be able to relate to other people well, period.

In other words, I'd suggest you just ignore it.

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Posts: 68290 | From: An island near Seattle | Registered: May 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
cool87
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Member # 29292

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Either she is in love with that guy and don't like the fact that you're the one being with him.

Or she's just jealous. She might be jealous because of a lot of things whether it is because you have a boyfriend and she doesn't or because she has low self-esteem problems or because she envies something or a lot of things about you. There can be lots of causes why she's jealous.

I was thinking when I first started reading your post that she might just be a good friend of your boyfriend but when I finished reading it it was really not the case. I'm wondering if she really is a good friend for your boyfriend. Really, a good friend should respect the friends who have, should not judge them, should try to get along with them instead. When she's acting the way she is around you, she just doesn't seem to be acting like a normal friend.

This friend doesn't seem like a good friend at all, whether it is for you or your boyfriend.

Have you told your boyfriend about how she's acting with you ? Maybe he's not aware of it. If he knew it maybe he could talk to her and try to arrange things between you and her. She might change after the talk.

Also, have a talk with him. Tell him it's bothering you, how you really feel, that is isn't normal for his friend to act that way around you.

I think he'll understand and will talk to her and change things. If he doesn't and doesn't ditch her as a friend and if he, himself, is getting more and more close to her, give him an ultimatum : her or you . And if he choose her instead instead of you, really you'll know he wasn't worth it.And anyway,if I were him, I wouldn't go out with a girl who's acting this way around my girlfriend.

[ 07-27-2006, 08:43 PM: Message edited by: cool87 ]

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Posts: 3598 | From: Canada | Registered: Jun 2006  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
bluefreak44
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Member # 12381

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I know it is easier said than done, but I think you should just ignore her. If she realizes she isn't getting to you or your boyfriend, she may stop. But she won't stop as long as she realizes she is making you miserable.
Posts: 81 | From: MO, USA | Registered: Mar 2003  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
rockett
Neophyte
Member # 20001

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Thanks everyne for you advice!

You guys are right the best thing I can do is just ignore her. My boyfriend has talked to her but she acted the same way to him when I even tried to talk to her. Oh well! Thank you though!!

Posts: 22 | From: california | Registered: Sep 2004  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
   

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