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» Scarleteen Boards: 2000 - 2014 (Archive) » SCARLETEEN CENTRAL » Relationships » mind games

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Author Topic: mind games
Member # 29991

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ok yall are probably gonna think im stupid...but me and my bf have been dating for almost two months and i love with all my heart and i dont know what i would do without him...and even though he doesnt always how it i know he loves me too...but he love to play mind games with me and get me all worked up to the point to where i am crying my eyes out and then start laughing and say that was the best prank ever...well he did that last night again that was the first time in about two weeks and he said some really hurtful things to me and then he said he was just picking around with i told him i wished he wouldnt play those games with me b/c i hate them but he never can i get him to stop without getting him pissed off at me???
Posts: 8 | From: North Carolina | Registered: Jul 2006  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Member # 13388

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Thing is, a good boyfriend doesn't play mind games. Especially when they make you cry your eyes out... repeatedly. That's is immature and lacking self-esteem at best, if not actually manipulative and downright mean.

Honestly, I think you would do a whole lot better without him. I don't mean for this to seem like you're being chewed out, simply_me_09, but I'm concerned for you-- such behavior is often a sign of potential (if not current) abuse. He isn't listening, he gets angry at you (and I'm sure it's not your fault), etc. You deserve better than that!

I don't meant to jump to conclusions, but here is a checklist from another thread on signs of an abusive relationship:

[] My partner is very jealous, gets jealous easily
[] My partner follows me around, checks up on me a lot
[] My partner tries to control how I dress or who I spend time with (friends, family, coworkers)
[] My partner yells, calls me names, puts me down
[] I hide things that I think would upset or anger my partner (phone numbers, letters, photos)
[] I am afraid to say no to sex
[] My partner threatens me, or has threatened me
[]My partner hits, throws or breaks things when angry
[] I am fraid to disagree with my partner
[] My partner has pushed, slapped, punched or otherwise hurt me
[]I feel like my partner's anger is my fault

Why do you feel like you need him? What exactly does he say to make you cry?

Posts: 3318 | Registered: Jun 2003  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Member # 29991

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everyone tells me that i would be better off without him but i just cant bring myself to break up with him...i dont feel like i need him...but i think why i cant break up with him is because he was me first boyfriend,kiss,and everything else and so i dont want to break up with him...and the things he says...he has told me that i was fat that i needed to get off my fat *** and lose weight...i was a sucky family doesnt care about me...and he has "fake" broke up with me and then he will call back to see if i am crying...i know its not healthy but i dont want to break up with him i just want him to stop with the games
Posts: 8 | From: North Carolina | Registered: Jul 2006  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Member # 25983

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Why the heck are you doing this to yourself, girl? This guy is pure crap, by all means. It's sad, but it is exceptionally rare that ANYBODY stays with their first boyfriend, kisser, etc for a significant length of time.

This guy is total bad news, and will damage you further if you let him. Nothing you can say will make him stop, as he's obviously too immature to listen, anyway. Get out of there and work on rebuilding your self-worth. Don't keep anyone around who says or does such awful things. Do this for yourself.

Posts: 4636 | From: USA/Northern Europe | Registered: Oct 2005  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Member # 30010

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Okay...So I dont know in the heck you are still with this guy...I could not handle all of that!! He is gonna think that he can do whatever he want s to you and no matter what you are still gonna be with him!! I would dump him in a heartbeat!! But then again everyonehas there own opinion!!
Posts: 1 | From: North Carolina | Registered: Jul 2006  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Member # 29931

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ok well its obviously an abusive relationship so think about that before you consider him the guy you love
you deserve much better, YOU are much more valuable than that and he knows it so he gets so insecure he has to test you to bring you down to make you think you arent worth more, but you are you are worth too much to put up with him, hes just wants to make sure you dont know that so you stay with him

Posts: 29 | From: usa | Registered: Jul 2006  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Member # 27083

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This guy doesn't seem very loving to me. If I were you, I would get out of this relationship. He doesn't seem to be very considerate of your feelings if you've already told him repeatedly that you don't like his "jokes". If he hasn't stopped doing it by now, then something's up. He needs to get his act together, or you need to kick him to the curb, because this relationship is far from healthy.

What he is doing to you is a form of emotional abuse, and that is just as bad as physical abuse, if not worse in some aspects.

Tell him that if he doesn't get his act together FAST your kicking him to the curb. You shouldn't have to deal with his harrassment. You don't deserve it, and you shouldn't stand for it.

[ 07-26-2006, 10:46 AM: Message edited by: Mathilde ]

Posts: 80 | From: Alabama, USA | Registered: Jan 2006  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator

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