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» Scarleteen Boards: 2000 - 2014 (Archive) » SCARLETEEN CENTRAL » Relationships » Friends of the opposite sex

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Author Topic: Friends of the opposite sex
-Firefly-
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So, I'm having a conversation with my partner, and he says this:

"there are no such things as friends of the opposite sex .. it just doesn't exist .. you can be idealistic and say that oh .. he's just a friend.. and so on .. but at the end of the day there is always sexual tension ... it's been that way for a thousand years.. I suspect it will be that way for a thousand more..."

I don't really agree with him on this, so I thought I'd open up a discussion about it here, and see what other people think...

Because really, if this were true, the same would apply to people attracted to the same sex, wouldn't it? For them, it would mean that there would always be sexual tension with same sex friends. I don't personally have experience in this, so I really can't say for certain, but I don't think that's always the case (just as I don't think it's always the case with friends of the opposite sex) but maybe i'm completely off my rocker...

So, does anyone have anything to say to this?

[ 07-25-2006, 12:37 PM: Message edited by: blysse_norwood ]

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Vero
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Mathilde
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I would have to disagree with your boyfriend on this one. In my humble opinion, I don't believe that every friendship you have is meant to be sexual. Just because you're both of the opposite sex does not mean that you have to be attracted to the person. I have a few guy friends, but do I find them especially attractive? Not really. (I'm in a relationship, and that may make a difference, but I still wouldn't want to date any of my guy friends.) I guess it depends on the person, really. Some people may find it difficult to have a platonic friendship with the opposite sex, some may not. It all depends on the person.

[ 07-25-2006, 12:45 PM: Message edited by: Mathilde ]

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bellaitaliana69
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I agree with Mathilde, it really depends on the person. Although, in opposite-sex friendships (assuming that both people are heterosexual, same-sex friendships if the people are homosexual, etc.), it is pretty common that one person will be attracted to the other, and the other may not feel the same way. Also, sometimes people befriend someone of the opposite sex just for the purpose of trying to date them or be sexual with them. This is obviously not always the case though. I also have many guy friends and alot of them are in relationships already. I think that it's great to have friends of the opposite sex to get their perspectives and opinions on things, especially relationships and gender-issue type stuff.

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"Only fear the things which have the power to harm" --Dante Aligheri, "Inferno" canto 2

A miracle is not the suspension of natural law, but the operation of a higher law.

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poppybluefrogs
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I agree with Mathilde too. I would say it is possible to have friends of the opposite sex and not be attracted to them at all. I'm in a relationship that is very on/off but i am definitely not attracted to any of my guy friends. And the guy friends i am attracted too i've been attracted too since i met them and a friendship developed later and now i wouldn't risk the friendship, knowing my track record with relationships it would just ruin any friendship i had with them.

So yes i would say you can have friends without being attracted to them and that it does depend on the individuals involved. You might be friends for a reason and that may be the exact same reason you aren't attracted. Also what happens when your friend of the opposite sex is homosexual? are you automatically attracted to them because they're of the opposite sex or are you friends for a different reason?

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bellaitaliana69
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Well, if you have an opposite-sex friend who is homosexual, then you'd know that it's next to impossible that anything sexual would happen. One of my best friends is a gay guy, and we love to go shopping together. If I were to ever become attracted to him, I know that it would hurt because it would damage our amazing friendship. Especially because there would be absolutly no chance that we could pursue eachother.

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"Only fear the things which have the power to harm" --Dante Aligheri, "Inferno" canto 2

A miracle is not the suspension of natural law, but the operation of a higher law.

Posts: 136 | From: Roma, Italy | Registered: Jul 2006  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
   

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