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» Scarleteen Boards: 2000 - 2014 (Archive) » SCARLETEEN CENTRAL » Relationships » can't make real friends

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Author Topic: can't make real friends
isabelle
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Member # 29931

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I've always had temporary friends and I never can keep them cause they start to treat me like crap and I dont like dealing with the abuse.

my only non-temporary friends are guys and girls who are sexually attracted to me and i really wish jealousy wouldnt drive me so far apart from other girls but so many of them are like freakin wolves and I'm competition or something to them cause they'll eventually put me down for any flaw they can find. I try so many things; I never flirt with the guys they like EVER, but guys are attracted to me alot and if I ever mention a guy that likes me they lash out like snakes. I want a real friend, one that isnt just interested in my body but who I am and they wont try to hit on me later.

the only time I can seem to make a close friendship with a girl is if she is attracted to me sexually but I'm straight and not into girls. I dont like being this hot person to everyone i meet I wanna be normal so people wont just check out my body and maybe they'll get to know who I really am. if you ever wonder why pretty people are usually fake its cause no one wants to see their real personality it gets in the way of gawking at their freakish looks.and they do gawk. god I wish someone understood...please dont flame me I'm having a real problem here...it takes courage to ask about this to strangers please dont flame me

I'm kinda sick of only being friends with people who wanna have sex with me
I'm kinda sick of being a freak

ps
I dont wear makeup or do anything else like that to flatter my looks even more so thats not why they do this to me

Posts: 29 | From: usa | Registered: Jul 2006  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
samantha357
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hmmm... this is tricky. no one here is going to "flame you", by-the-way.

Have you tryed ignoring them? As it is right now i can't think of anything else besides that, [especially considering i am in a completely opposite position than you [Smile] ]

if you do nothing to flatter the way u look then i don't see why it could be your fault that guys are attracted to you. I think those girls need a wake up call. That's me though. Maybe you could try and tell them that your not going to steal anybody from them? I really don't know this is a shot in the dark.

I hope someone helps you more than i did.

[Big Grin] Good luck

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"All is fair in love in war... wait... that doesn't sound right..."

The love you cant have lasts the longest, feels the strongest... & hurts the deepest

Posts: 81 | From: Oklahoma, USA | Registered: Jun 2006  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Djuna
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Um. I'm probably never going to understand women, and have no experience whatsoever of being good-looking, but here's my best shot [Wink] .
Let me tell you the story of two good-looking girls at my school (true story by the way).
One has very few close friends and is constantly falling out with people. She hardly ever has a boyfriend because she's hardly ever in a long-term relationship.
The other one, however, is happy and successful. She has lots of close friends (including me) and has had several long-term(ish - like a few months) relationships. She never seems to be in an argument with anyone.
The main difference between them that's apparent to me is that the second one really lets everyone in. If she's embarrassed, she doesn't try to hide it. If she's happy or sad, it's there plain to see. While the first one makes it obvious that only people of a certain social standing are entitled to be her friends.
So I don't know how much this advice will help, but maybe being more open and letting people in to the real you will help. Of course, if you already do that, then I typed all this for nothing. [Smile]

[ 07-24-2006, 03:43 PM: Message edited by: smileyjoseph ]

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“In a strange room, before you are emptied for sleep, what are you. And when you are filled with sleep you never were. I don’t know what I am. I don’t know if I am or not... how often have I lain beneath rain on a strange roof, thinking of home.”

Posts: 1269 | From: London, UK | Registered: Jun 2006  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
isabelle
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hmmm, well I am friends with anybody who will let me in but I'm a bit cautious when it comes to being vulnerable and showing it
maybe I should be more open with everyone about the real me instead of pretending to be someone because I'm scared of being hurt
thanks for the advice!

Posts: 29 | From: usa | Registered: Jul 2006  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
bellaitaliana69
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I know what you mean! I've been having similar trouble. Something that I think is very important is to find something that you're really good at and develop that talent. Developing a talent will also help people to see you as more than just physically attractive. Also, don't be afraid to take risks by introducing yourself to a new person and starting up conversations. Making a genuine effort to be nice and friendly really helps alot. You seem like a wonderful person and I hope that you can find friends who appreciate you for all that you are. Best of luck to you.

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"Only fear the things which have the power to harm" --Dante Aligheri, "Inferno" canto 2

A miracle is not the suspension of natural law, but the operation of a higher law.

Posts: 136 | From: Roma, Italy | Registered: Jul 2006  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
cherry berry
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Member # 29998

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it sounds like the kind of people that are attracted to you are ones that want a pretty accessory for a friend. so of course if you're not perfect they're going to be mad at you and get rid of you.

i'd say you should try to find people who like you for things that you do. this is just me sticking to stereotypes but those people are usually the ones that don't put so much effort into their looks.

Posts: 42 | From: usa | Registered: Jul 2006  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
   

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