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» Scarleteen Boards: 2000 - 2014 (Archive) » SCARLETEEN CENTRAL » Relationships » guy troubles

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Author Topic: guy troubles
Member # 20655

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Hi, i broke up with my boyfriend of a year and a half 4 months ago because i didnt feel like we were on the right track and i felt that he needed to do more with his life. We remained really close friends and now i see that he has changed and made an effort and has a different outlook on everything. The thing is i want him back. I do miss him and i think i would like to go back out with him. My problem is he said i hurt him so much when we broke up so how should i approach him with the thoughts i've been having? Thanks for your help.
Posts: 39 | Registered: Nov 2004  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Member # 29149

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Being a guy, I have been on the recieving end of this. It really depends on how he fealt about you when you broke up. If he felt like he still liked or loved you, he may be slightly hesitant to take you back, but he would consider it. Did he say he felt the same way as you did about not being on the right track? If he did, there is less of a chance that he will take you back. But approach him about it, and slowly advance the conversation to the topic. be gentle about it as if he is still hurt, he may try to shy away from the topic, or ignore it completely.

[ 06-28-2006, 07:58 PM: Message edited by: jhawked451 ]

Apollo: No I wll never fail you through to the end your guardian standing by your side or worlds away. - From The Eumenides

Posts: 10 | From: Pleasanton CA | Registered: Jun 2006  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Member # 29292

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Just start by calling him and asking him how he is. What he did after the broke up. Tell him that you want news from him.

Maybe you two could go out. Just see how he feels about you. Is he over the break-up, do he still love you.

Eventually, you can talk to him about you missing him and getting back together with him.

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Posts: 3598 | From: Canada | Registered: Jun 2006  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Member # 29504

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Given that the two of you are really close friends, you probably have some idea of where his feelings are on this issue. Do you think he's emotionally ready to invest in a romantic relationship? Do you get any feeling that he's still romantically interested in you?

I'd also suggest you make sure that you're firmly committed to the idea of going out with him again before you do anything. If you are, that's great -- I'd just hate to see you put yourself in a situation where you have to abandon the relationship again because you weren't ready for it, or because things haven't changed as much as you thought. That wouldn't be constructive for either you or your friend.

If you think that raising the subject in person might get a bit weird, you could always write him a short note to tell him how you feel. It's a low-pressure way of getting your feelings out on the table, and it would give him a bit of time to process and react to those feelings without the urgency of having to respond immediately.

Posts: 3 | From: BC, Canada | Registered: Jun 2006  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator

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