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» Scarleteen Boards: 2000 - 2014 (Archive) » SCARLETEEN CENTRAL » Relationships » Missing him.

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Author Topic: Missing him.
domncroxd
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Member # 20869

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Hey all,

This is more of a rant than anything...I just saw my boyfriend off yesterday at the airport - it was painful and I came home very, very lonely. It's tough especially because of our deeper emotional and sexual/physical connection. For example, I miss him hugging me, I miss waking up right next to him, etc. It's so hard. And he's going to be away for a year, and I'm not completely sure how I'm going to handle it. I fear that at the end of the year he's away, we'll have changed, maybe realized that we're not right for each other, etc. I guess at the end of the day, I don't want to know that my emotions have gone to waste. I've never been in this deep before, and it's scaring me, and I'm scared that if something bad happens between the both of us, I won't be able to take it.

--------------------
still flowin on the river of life...and i have no regrets.

Posts: 53 | From: Melbourne, Australi | Registered: Nov 2004  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Monotonous
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I know exactly how you feel, however not for that long of a time.

Having someone you love who you have a deep emotional connection with going away for that long is incredibly hard, but try not to worry about it. I know that probably doesn't sound very comforting, but you can always talk on the phone, right? Stay involved and into each other's lives, ask him what he's doing lately, how he is. Tell him how much you miss him and what's been going on in your life. I truly believe that if you have such a deep connection and keep contact your relationship will work out, because those who have that "best friend" kind of connection tend to grow together rather than apart. The best you can do is just not dwell on it, and keep as much contact with him as possible. He's probably just as worried as you are, scared you might meet someone else and forget about him. If he brings it up, reassure him he has nothing to worry about. It will make both of you feel better.

I sincerely wish the both of you the best of luck with your relationship.

-Chi

P.S.: How long have you been together? Just wondering. [Smile]

Posts: 59 | From: United States | Registered: Jun 2006  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
domncroxd
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Hey Chi/Monotonous,

Thank you so much for your reply [Smile] . It's a tough time, seeing as how it's the first time I've ever been through something like this. We've been together for 10 months now, but the reason for us being so much closer is because we both stayed in the same dorm - that's how we got to know each other. After I moved out, he kinda moved in with me as well...a lot of his stuff is still here (I found his socks...felt a pang somewhere), so when you're with someone almost 24/7, things get serious pretty fast, especially when you've discussed with the other person how much you want from the relationship, etc etc.

Thanks again for your reply! It's comforted me a lot [Smile] .

Posts: 53 | From: Melbourne, Australi | Registered: Nov 2004  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Monotonous
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Ah, do I hear that...

I'm with my boyfriend almost 24/7, and it's been like this for over a year. He'll go away for a few days for his moving job and I mope and find his stuff and cry because I miss him so much. However, when he's working and out for that long it doesn't leave much time to be on the phone, which doesn't help. I'm sure you understand, you know, you get really serious in a relationship and then they're the only one you're with sometimes. Then they're gone and you're like, "Crap. I'm alone."

Actually, your post helped be because it reminded me so much of myself, and suddenly I knew what to say and took my own advice. When he's gone, I don't get so sad anymore. [Smile] I just remind myself that this, just like everything else, will pass, he will be back, he misses me just as much as I miss him, and our relationship is much too meaningful to break up over something like distance. So, actually, you helped me. It seems like your relationship is similar to that, and even just reading what you're writing I sincerely doubt that him being away will hurt your relationship and it made me look at myself, getting all riled up 'cause my boyfriend's going away for a few days.

I'm ecstatic that I made you feel better! [Big Grin] Anything I can do to help! *hug*

Posts: 59 | From: United States | Registered: Jun 2006  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Ecofem
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Hi domncroxd and Monotonous,

I'm glad that you two are supporting each other. [Smile] Here are two links from our FAQs on long-distance relationships you might find interesting:

LDR's (Long Distance Relationships)
http://www.scarleteen.com/forum/Forum3/HTML/000483.html http://www.scarleteen.com/forum/Forum3/HTML/003784.html

[ 06-27-2006, 06:59 AM: Message edited by: Ecofem ]

Posts: 3318 | Registered: Jun 2003  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
   

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