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» Scarleteen Boards: 2000 - 2014 (Archive) » SCARLETEEN CENTRAL » Relationships » age and sex

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Author Topic: age and sex
ashley hayes
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hi im 13 and my boy friend is 17 and we are about 3years and 8 months apart. are relationship is secret and he wants to have sex. but im afraid something can happen. and im afraid to have sex with him cuz of age. but if i dont have sex with him im afraid he will leave me. what should i do
Posts: 15 | From: Englewood CO | Registered: Jun 2006  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
ttoks1
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haveing sex at your age is illegle anyway so you realy soundent but apart from that maybe talking to him about it? if your not ready let him know and wait untill you are should wait untill your 16 so that it's legle for you to otherwise if your parent find out they can charge him with rape (not sure what kinda rape it is gota name)

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war's come and go but my soldier's, they stay enternal-tupac shakur

time is a wast of life
life is a wast of time
so wast your time and have the time of your life

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His_Lil_Angel
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dont have sex with him unless you are ready. dont do it just so he will stay with you. if he leaves you because you dont want to he isnt worth it. there are many consequences with having sex, emotional and physical. stds, pregnancy etc. talk to him about it.
at your age it is illegal like ttocks1 said. if you get caught he can be charged.

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ashley hayes
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thanx i will try to talk to him. but what if he dumps me. i dont think i can handle that. then should i give in and sleep with him. cuz i have almost given in befor but we were interupted and i was kind of happy we were.
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His_Lil_Angel
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im sorry to say this but if he dumps you because you wouldn't have sex with him he isnt worth it. it was kind of obvious he only with you for that. only have sex when your ready and happy to do it. at 13 you are quite along way away from the legal age to have sex. wait dont be rushed into it. you were happy you were interrupted before, thats your body telling you your not ready
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ashley hayes
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i really like him and i dont want to loose him but i dont want him to be charged with anything im confused.
Posts: 15 | From: Englewood CO | Registered: Jun 2006  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
September
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You're under the AOC, Ashley. Not only that, but no mature, reasonable 17-year-old would want to enter a sexual relationship with a 13-year-old. He is going to leave you if you don't sleep with him. THink about it. I think it's pretty clear that he isn't with you because he likes you as a person and connects with you.

Have you seen a gynecologist? Gotten tested for STDs? Do you know that he's gotten tested? Can you afford to have safe sex (ie, pay for condoms and birth control)? Do you think you can handle all the possible consequences of sex? If you can't say 'yes' to all of these, then you're not ready. And you even say yourself that you're glad you were interrupted the last time. So do yourself a favour and get out of this situation.

[ 06-17-2006, 06:09 AM: Message edited by: September ]

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Johanna
Scarleteen Volunteer

"The question is not who will let me, but who is going to stop me." -Ayn Rand

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ttoks1
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if he's only in the relationship for sec he isent wrth it so no dont give into him if he's presureing you talk to him and say your not ready make sure your ready befor you have sex with him and make sure you practice safe sex use condoms and lube if you need it

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war's come and go but my soldier's, they stay enternal-tupac shakur

time is a wast of life
life is a wast of time
so wast your time and have the time of your life

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ashley hayes
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i can only say yes to one. u r probably write. IM NOT READY thanx guys.
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ashley hayes
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for the future if u cant ask parents how to get birth control how do u get it
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September
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You don't need parental consent for birth control. Obviously, it would be better for you to be honest with your parents about this sort of thing, but if you feel you cannot tell them, there are ways for you to stay safe regardless. You can get birth control at clinics such as Planned Parenthood, which are anonymous, completely confidential and often operate on a sliding scale.

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Johanna
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"The question is not who will let me, but who is going to stop me." -Ayn Rand

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ashley hayes
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but how would i get there i dont tell my parents anything and the only way to get there is by them
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September
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Public transport? A friend who has a car? I'm sure you can find a way to get there. And if you can't - here's the thing: Sex is meant to be fun, but for it to be fun, you need to engage it in responsibly. And if you, for whatever reason, cannot do that, well, then you really shouldn't be having sex - for the safety of everyone involved. So. Can't get to to a clinic for STD testing and birth control? Sex is just gonna have to wait until you can.

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Johanna
Scarleteen Volunteer

"The question is not who will let me, but who is going to stop me." -Ayn Rand

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ashley hayes
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ok but can condoms help in the same way birth control can
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September
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Condoms, if used correctly, are pretty effective in preventing both STDs and pregnancy. But here's the thing - if you're sexually active, you should definitely get checked out by a gyn on a regular basis to make sure you're STD-free and everything's okay.

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Johanna
Scarleteen Volunteer

"The question is not who will let me, but who is going to stop me." -Ayn Rand

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ashley hayes
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thank u sooooooooooo much
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September
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No problem. Glad I could help. [Smile]

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Johanna
Scarleteen Volunteer

"The question is not who will let me, but who is going to stop me." -Ayn Rand

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Bobolink
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http://www.scarleteen.com/forum/ultimatebb.php?ubb=get_topic;f=28;t=002764

Ashley, here you describe a very different lifestle than you do in this post. Which is it?

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I do not feel obliged to believe that the same God who has endowed us with sense, reason, and intellect has intended us to forgo their use.

- Galileo

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DarkChild717
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(Ashley? When you registered, you agreed to post in proper English. Please do so. It only takes two additional key strokes to turn a "u" into a "you". Thanks.)

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Caylin, Scarleteen Volunteer
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ashley hayes
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the Gonorrhea story is for my sis k
she is 15 and i told her i wouldnt say anything so i am asking u guys on wat i should tell her to do.
she has gotin pregnant but had a abortion and now she needs help about Gonorrhea and wat she should do.

k

Posts: 15 | From: Englewood CO | Registered: Jun 2006  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Karybu
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Ashley, if your sister wants advice, she needs to register a handle of her own. It gets confusing if you're asking for advice for two people. Thanks.

Per your sister's question: Bobolink's advice still applies. If she suspects she has gonorrhea, she needs to see a physician. She also needs a full STI screening, a pregnancy test, and she really needs to start practicing safer sex. There are some articles here at the site you may wish to point her to:

A Quickie STD/STI Risk Assessment
STI File: Gonorrhea
Safe, Sound & Sexy : A Safer Sex How-To

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"Another world is not only possible, she is on her way. On a quiet day, I can hear her breathing." -Arundhati Roy

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Kit Kat
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-- edited per the guidelines --

[ 06-18-2006, 04:47 PM: Message edited by: Miz Scarlet ]

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I Put Spot Remover On My Dog And Now He Is Gone

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Karybu
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Kit Kat, please watch the tone of your posts. Scarleteen is not the place to pass judgment on others for their decisions - please refrain from doing so in the future.

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"Another world is not only possible, she is on her way. On a quiet day, I can hear her breathing." -Arundhati Roy

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Kit Kat
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-- edited as it is unacceptable to call voluneetrs heartless, evil bitches here (in case anyone else felt the temptation and was unclear) --

[ 06-18-2006, 04:49 PM: Message edited by: Miz Scarlet ]

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I Put Spot Remover On My Dog And Now He Is Gone

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LilBlueSmurf
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Kit Kat,

If you have any complaints/comments, please take it to email. -- boards@scarleteen.com

For now, your posting privledges have been suspended. If you do feel you want to come back to the boards and think you can follow the guidelines, you can write to Miz Scarlet at the address above and tell her.

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Nursing is a work of heart!
~ unknown

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hiee
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Don't have it. If he expects sex out of the relationship, it isn't a true realtionshop at all.

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Heyyy

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DarkChild717
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hiee, welcome to scarleteen.

Please be aware that here, we consider ourselves a safe place for everyone who wants to be sexually active in the context of various kinds of relationships. Passing judgement on kind based on your own morals isn't acceptable here, because everyone is different, has different ethics, and different ideas of what works for them.

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Caylin, Scarleteen Volunteer
Love Scarleteen? Donations keep us around for you. So give a little! (Or a lot. Whatever works for you.)

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