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» Scarleteen Boards: 2000 - 2014 (Archive) » SCARLETEEN CENTRAL » Relationships » wanting attention

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Author Topic: wanting attention
ax50607
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Member # 27650

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ok so my relationship is basically going just fine- but we've been dating for such a long time now (almost 2 years) and i kind of miss all of the little things he used to do. like he used to leave a flower on my car every once in a while, he used to walk me to my car whenever i left his house (or carry me... that was the best)... i duno. i just miss all of that. maybe he feels that now that he's got me he doesnt need to do all that anymore- but i just feel like im still doing so many things like that- giving him random presents, making him food, etc... and he's not even really noticing or caring. i know he loves me more than anything and i love him the same. but maybe things are just getting dull?

i dont know if this is even an issue or if im just overreacting or what. maybe im grumpy?
i know i need to talk to him about it. it just seems weird though- because i dont want to feel like im insulting him or anything or make him feel like he's obligated to go out and buy me things all the time. because thats not what i really want- i really just want attention.

he may be just tired, who knows. he does have a lot on his plate right now- and i just got finished with school and basically have nothing to do so maybe its harder for me to understand
thanks

Posts: 69 | From: NC, US | Registered: Feb 2006  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
DarkChild717
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Member # 139

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Saying simply that you remember fondly those little gestures and you miss them is a straightforward way of letting him know. Really, he's not a mind reader. If you don't tell him, he won't know how you feel.

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Caylin, Scarleteen Volunteer
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Posts: 2789 | From: The Evergreen State | Registered: Jun 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
ayeayeaye
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yea, seriously let him know how you feel. becaues those little things are nice and they do help out a relationship. that was a big thing for me in my last relationship...for a while things had started off great got all the attention from him i needed and vice versa but its easy in a long relationship to let go of things like that without realizing that you're doing it. he probably doesn't even notice but it needs to be pointed out to him because that is what you need, it bothers you, and you need those little things sometimes to be happy. do not think you are overexaggerating, being selfish or anything because that is what i thought and i waited way to long to talk to my guy about it. some people just need a little more attention than others and there is absolulty nothing wrong with that!
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bluefreak44
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I have been through that before. I don't think it's done on purpose, and I've noticed that while my husband doesn't do as many sweet things as he used to, neither do I. My theory: in the beginning we were trying to prove more through actions that we loved each other. Now I know he loves me and he knows I love him, so we neglect to show it through random acts of romance as much as we used to.

All you can really do is talk to him. I mentioned that to my husband once, and after I returned from being out of town I found chocolates, rose petals, and a card on the bed. A lot of guys don't try to be inconsiderate, they just don't realize what they are or aren't doing.

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honeybunchesofoats
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i know exactly how you feel. i've been bugging my boyfriend for months to get me some flowers. He used to do it all the time. It may not be the most effective way to get him to do something, but everytime we drive by the flower shop, or see flowers, I remind him of it. Guys seem to think, that once they've got you, they no longer need to try to impress you. He even said something to the effect of "I've got you now, what do I need to buy flowers for" I told him he couldn't make me fall in love with one person, and then turn into someone else, and expect it to be ok. Which is essentially what they do. They turn on the charm, and as soon as they think they've got us hooked, bye bye charm. Lol. Tell your bf how you feel, and that a girl likes to feel special, and worth the extra effort.
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DarkChild717
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Hey, Honey? Try and keep generalizations to a minimum. Guys certaintly aren't the only ones in relationships. Girls have them, too. Not all guys do that, and certainly some women do as well.

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Caylin, Scarleteen Volunteer
Love Scarleteen? Donations keep us around for you. So give a little! (Or a lot. Whatever works for you.)

Posts: 2789 | From: The Evergreen State | Registered: Jun 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
   

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