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» Scarleteen Boards: 2000 - 2014 (Archive) » SCARLETEEN CENTRAL » Relationships » First Relationship

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Author Topic: First Relationship
Mee
Neophyte
Member # 25978

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Is there anything wrong with marrying the first man that I have ever had a serious relationship with? I am 18 and My boyfriend and I have been together for two and a half years and I know that he is the one that I want to be with for the rest of my life. I am definitely sure. It is just difficult sometimes as people say that your first love will not last. Mine seems to be. I mean if I know that he is who I want to be with, should I be concerned about other people telling me that I don't really know because he is my first love? Thanks.
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Heather
Executive Director & Founder
Member # 3

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quote:
It is just difficult sometimes as people say that your first love will not last.
And sometimes it won't.

But also, sometimes won't your second, third, or fifth love last, either.

You know what you know based on your experiences, and what you know and feel isn't invalid.

Obviously, if people you care for and trust have reservations very specific to your partner or your relationship -- rather merely than about it being your first -- those are often worth listening to and taking into consideration. And personally (there are a couple topics on the boards where we've recently been discussing this) I don't think anyone should be in a rush to get to the altar: if it's going to last, it's going to last regardless or marriage, eh?

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Heather Corinna, Executive Director & Founder, Scarleteen
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Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has. - Margaret Mead

Posts: 68290 | From: An island near Seattle | Registered: May 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
notmenow
Neophyte
Member # 18145

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My motto is to take it one day at a time. I've been in those relationships where people have insisted that it wouldn't last; don't let it get you down. If it will, it will. Enjoy it in the present, and don't be so worried about the future. [Smile]
Posts: 10 | From: U.S. | Registered: May 2004  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Mee
Neophyte
Member # 25978

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Thank you. That sounds like good advice to me...
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bluefreak44
Activist
Member # 12381

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I married my first and only boyfriend. We started dating when I was 18 and he was 16 (2 weeks after I turned 18 and 2 weeks before he turned 17--we're only a year apart). We dated for 2 1/2 years and married almost a year ago.

I agree with the advice to take it one day at a time until you're ready to start making concrete plans for the future. You're still young, so there's no need to rush into anything at this point. My family seemed more worried about my age (I married at 20) than whether or not my husband was my first boyfriend. That may be a concern of those around you as well, if you're seriously discussing marriage.

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Faith54
Activist
Member # 27855

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I'm currently w/ my first bf, and we've been through a lot together. We really love each other, and hope we will last. We aren't being unrealistic; we're not planning our wedding or anything like that. Like everyone else said, take it one day at a time, and if you think it will last forever, why rush to the altar? Just enjoy each other for now, and the time will come probably before you know it!

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"My grandmother never gave gifts- she was too busy being raped by cossacks." ~ Woody Allen

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Mathilde
Activist
Member # 27083

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I've been with my first boyfriend for about a year and a half now, and I hope we continue going strong. I've learned to take things one day at the time as opposed to worrying too much about the future. We're both still in high school (he's got one year left, I've got two), so I try not to dwell on it too much. It's hard when your family tries to question your judgement on whether or not you love someone. I've had them do this to me, and it's hard to deal with sometimes, but I try not to pay much attention. Only you know how you truly feel, and that's what I live by. They don't truly know your relationship the way you and your boyfriend do.

If their reason for worry is valid, then I would listen. However, saying "You don't love so-and-so" without a specific reason isn't very insightful.

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Zachs lil Lady26
Neophyte
Member # 28905

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I am with my first and only boyfriend. We've been together for 2 years and almost 8 months. We started dating the first month of our freshman year of high school. Our families and friends are all extremely supportive and say we're a "perfect couple." Obviously, that's not true, but it's nice to have that kind of support. I never want to be with anyone but him. I mean, it IS hard to go through high school with only one person, and I'll admit sometimes I wonder if I've made the right decision. I know I could never find anyone better for me though. I never want to lose him. Lots of people think that young love won't last, but you can't let them get you down. We just have to proove them wrong! Only you know if you're truely in love with someone. Follow your heart. Good luck!!

--------------------
Jamie & Zachary
September 26, 2003-forever

"She loved him like no one before and it was good to be alive."

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goodmornin239
Neophyte
Member # 28952

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My sister married the first guy that she had ever dated. In fact just today she had her second baby with him. They are very happy! Sometimes it works, Sometimes it doesnt. One of the other posts said to take it one day at a time. That is good advice, you never know if it will happen but if you want it to and he wants it to then it just might work. Also, there is absolutely nothing wrong with being in love and marrying the first guy you fall in love with. Just make sure that your love is for real and you are completely happy. I have another friend who his wife is very controlling of him. I feel that he would have been happier with out her but I am not the one making that decision. so just make sure your happy. Good Luck! Love is so Great!
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musical_gal
Activist
Member # 23394

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I know we're talking about years ago here but my gran met my grandad at the age of 13. They were together untill he died a few years back.
Its quite mind-blowing to think that two people can spend more than 50 years together!

My point is...i guess it does happen [Big Grin]

Posts: 146 | Registered: May 2005  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
   

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