Donate Now

Topic Closed  Topic Closed
  New Poll  
my profile | directory login | search | faq | forum home

  next oldest topic   next newest topic
» Scarleteen Boards: 2000 - 2014 (Archive) » SCARLETEEN CENTRAL » Relationships » New Girl...

 - UBBFriend: Email this page to someone!    
Author Topic: New Girl...
Castaway
Activist
Member # 28219

Icon 1 posted      Profile for Castaway     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
There's this chick who came to our school a few days ago, and I have an inkling towards her. There may be some other guys who want to go out with her. But anyway, I don't really know how to approach it to her since she's only in my study hall and gym class. Also, she might not be a virgin and she does to drugs and all that other stuff, but I'd still wanna hang out with her.
Posts: 89 | From: Somewhere in dreamland.... | Registered: Apr 2006  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
DarkChild717
Scarleteen Volunteer
Member # 139

Icon 1 posted      Profile for DarkChild717     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
Out of curiosity, why would you want to hang around, much less date, someone who does drugs?

Also, why is being a virgin an important thing to consider when choosing someone to be friends with?

--------------------
Caylin, Scarleteen Volunteer
Love Scarleteen? Donations keep us around for you. So give a little! (Or a lot. Whatever works for you.)

Posts: 2789 | From: The Evergreen State | Registered: Jun 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Castaway
Activist
Member # 28219

Icon 1 posted      Profile for Castaway     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
Because my life blows and sometimes I feel very apathetic, also,I'm just into the thing into dating virgins, you know?
Posts: 89 | From: Somewhere in dreamland.... | Registered: Apr 2006  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
twentysix
Activist
Member # 26852

Icon 1 posted      Profile for twentysix     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
I don't really understand how apathy would cause you to have a desire to date virgins. If you were so apathetic, wouldn't you not care?
Posts: 86 | From: california | Registered: Jan 2006  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
DarkChild717
Scarleteen Volunteer
Member # 139

Icon 1 posted      Profile for DarkChild717     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
Might I suggest looking into outside hobbies that interest you? Things like volunteering look very good on resumes. Hanging around a crowd who participates in illegal behaviors does not.

As far as the virginity thing is concerned? Be aware that as you get older, if you remain married to that idea, your dating pool will get considerably smaller. Virginity is really a concept, not a physical state.

--------------------
Caylin, Scarleteen Volunteer
Love Scarleteen? Donations keep us around for you. So give a little! (Or a lot. Whatever works for you.)

Posts: 2789 | From: The Evergreen State | Registered: Jun 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Castaway
Activist
Member # 28219

Icon 1 posted      Profile for Castaway     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
Well I have my thoughts and I DO have a couple of hobbies that'll look good on my resume. All I want is someone who'll care about me and all that jazz.
Posts: 89 | From: Somewhere in dreamland.... | Registered: Apr 2006  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
DarkChild717
Scarleteen Volunteer
Member # 139

Icon 1 posted      Profile for DarkChild717     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
I assure you that a woman does not need to be a virgin to care about you. Virginity, in reality, has very little to do at all with anything.

Point being, those other hobbies can be an excellent place to meet people. Just be open to all sorts of people that will positively influence your life.

--------------------
Caylin, Scarleteen Volunteer
Love Scarleteen? Donations keep us around for you. So give a little! (Or a lot. Whatever works for you.)

Posts: 2789 | From: The Evergreen State | Registered: Jun 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Castaway
Activist
Member # 28219

Icon 1 posted      Profile for Castaway     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
It's just that I have this certain thing where I'm just really interested in going about with virgins, and I'm at wits end..
Posts: 89 | From: Somewhere in dreamland.... | Registered: Apr 2006  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
DarkChild717
Scarleteen Volunteer
Member # 139

Icon 1 posted      Profile for DarkChild717     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
I think you should do some reading on virginity. Really, what sets them apart, if anything, is the inexperience about being sexual with another person. That's not only virgins, either. Someone can have multiple partners and still be clueless as to what it is that does it for them, while some "virgins" know exactly what they want.

Read this article: 20 Questions About Virginity.

It will give you some insight into what it is you're actually looking for. I'll say it again, though--virginity isn't a good qualitiy to base your attraction on, because it's nothing more than a social concept.

--------------------
Caylin, Scarleteen Volunteer
Love Scarleteen? Donations keep us around for you. So give a little! (Or a lot. Whatever works for you.)

Posts: 2789 | From: The Evergreen State | Registered: Jun 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Castaway
Activist
Member # 28219

Icon 1 posted      Profile for Castaway     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
I just want a girl to like me for who I am, not based on my weight is or how I look like..but I guess that's different in my school..
Posts: 89 | From: Somewhere in dreamland.... | Registered: Apr 2006  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Heather
Executive Director & Founder
Member # 3

Icon 1 posted      Profile for Heather     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
...and yet, your own criteria sure isn't liking someone for who THEY are, eh?

Word to the wise? You want people to like you for who you are, you gotta be willing to do the same. And making a woman's sexual history be how YOU want it to be for whatever arbitrary reason, even just for platonic friendship, isn't in line with that.

--------------------
Heather Corinna, Executive Director & Founder, Scarleteen
About Me Get our book!
Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has. - Margaret Mead

Posts: 68290 | From: An island near Seattle | Registered: May 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Castaway
Activist
Member # 28219

Icon 1 posted      Profile for Castaway     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
Yeah but most of the women I like are pretty much sluts, and I literally mean it..thay ARE sluts. But they're the type that only go out with the hot guys. I just don't know what to do now.
Posts: 89 | From: Somewhere in dreamland.... | Registered: Apr 2006  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
dailicious
Scarleteen Volunteer
Member # 22471

Icon 1 posted      Profile for dailicious     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
Hey- Castaway, calling anyone a slut- period, isn't okay with us here, alright?

Look again at what Miz S has said- you want people to like you for who you are, and yet you jump out with things like, "Yes, but the girls I like are sluts" how is that at all fair, regardless at all of their sexual history or behavior?

--------------------
Jean
aka dailicious
Scarleteen Volunteer
Love us? Want to keep us in your lives and hearts? Give what you can!

Posts: 3382 | From: Denver, Colorado | Registered: Mar 2005  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Castaway
Activist
Member # 28219

Icon 1 posted      Profile for Castaway     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
...What I meant to say is...SOME of them are sluts, others are just the opposite of that.
Posts: 89 | From: Somewhere in dreamland.... | Registered: Apr 2006  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Heather
Executive Director & Founder
Member # 3

Icon 1 posted      Profile for Heather     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
You know, I don't want this kind of crud here at the site. There's just no indirect way to say it.

It's not okay to call women sluts here, and if you choose to divide women into madonnas and whores, that's really your problem to deal with at this point. If you can't work out how that just might be something which inhibits the way women interact with you, I hardly know what to say, because it should be patently obvious.

What you do, in short, is get over it: get over the idea that one can classify women that way and expect them to treat you as any more of a human being as you're treating them. Get over the idea that it's okay or humane to judge women by their sexual history or your ideas about what their sexual history, or lack thereof, says about them as people.

But I'm literally made ill by even reading this sort of approach, and I don't want it here. So, I'm closing this thread.

--------------------
Heather Corinna, Executive Director & Founder, Scarleteen
About Me Get our book!
Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has. - Margaret Mead

Posts: 68290 | From: An island near Seattle | Registered: May 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
   

  New Poll   Open Topic   Feature Topic   Move Topic   Delete Topic next oldest topic   next newest topic
 - Printer-friendly view of this topic
Hop To:


Contact Us | Get the Whole Story! Go Home to SCARLETEEN: Sex Ed for the Real World | Privacy Statement

Copyright 1998, 2014 Heather Corinna/Scarleteen
Scarleteen.com: Providing comprehensive sex education online to teens and young adults worldwide since 1998

Information on this site is provided for educational purposes. It is not meant to and cannot substitute for advice or care provided by an in-person medical professional. The information contained herein is not meant to be used to diagnose or treat a health problem or disease, or for prescribing any medication. You should always consult your own healthcare provider if you have a health problem or medical condition.

Powered by UBB.classic™ 6.7.3