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» Scarleteen Boards: 2000 - 2014 (Archive) » SCARLETEEN CENTRAL » Relationships » Just thought i'd say it.

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Author Topic: Just thought i'd say it.
Member # 27762

Icon 1 posted      Profile for jimmyjohns123     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
I don't have anyone I can tell it to so I figured someone might have something interesting to say on here.

I just got a girlfriend, she is my second girlfriend i've ever had, she is completely virginal in every way. I am not, but I haven't had sex. She is kinda shy, and I don't think interested in sexual activity. Though this doesn't matter for the moment, I know in the long run I will be bothered by this. I have alot of friends who are girls, many of whom I find VERY attractive, and vise versa. Some have spoken of interest in a "friends with benefits relationship" this ideas new to me, but exciting sounding. But VERY annoying because I have a girlfriend. I wouldn't cheat on her, so it's not really a moral decision or anything, it's just f-ing ANNNNOYING!

Posts: 2 | From: west palm | Registered: Mar 2006  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Member # 13388

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There's nothing wrong with having no prior sexual experience. But it oblivously is a major factor for you here.

You should break up with her. You have the choice to be with her, and the choice to break up with her if you don't to be. So please be kind and fair to her, i.e. make the split and stop thinking of her as a "VERY annoying," "f-ing ANNNNOYING" hurdle.

Posts: 3318 | Registered: Jun 2003  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
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Member # 22756

Icon 1 posted      Profile for kitka     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
I agree. Don't get involved with someone if you are only interested in a quick fix.

In the dreamy haze of dating, the person who's with you might read your signals entirely wrong and think you want a real relationship when you actually don't. Happens all the time.

"Friends with benefits" is not always the best thing, so if you're going to pursue that, make sure to be realistic about the potential drawbacks.

How do you know she's not interested in sexual activity? That doesn't sound too fair of you to assume.

People used to think I was a "prude," so I got convinced that I was one. Turns out that was NOT the case. If you earn someone's trust, they might show you a side of them they didn't know they had.

Some girls like to take it slow. Some guys do too. Doing that helps to build solid relationships.

Posts: 455 | From: New York, NY | Registered: Apr 2005  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Member # 27418

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It sounds to me that what you are more interested in right now is carnal fulfillment, and not a relationship. Since it seems that you haven't even talked with your girlfriend about this, as you are simply "reading" your assumptions off her, you probably stand the chance of misleading her and thus causing her emotional harm. Obviously, the introduction of a sexual element seems like something that is necessary to you, or you would not be "ANNNNOYED". Get on the same page with her. Make it clear what YOU are looking for right now--which is a girlfriend who will enage in sexual activity with you--and if the two of you are not wanting the same thing, call it quits. Or, if you feel from your knowledge of her that such a conversation would be insulting/hurtful/uncalled for, then simply make the break clean and quick, rather than stringing her along and potentially causing her pain.
Posts: 213 | From: Private | Registered: Feb 2006  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator

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