After about 3 years of being best friends with a girl "Karen" I couldn't handle her selfishness and blah blah blah. We have had our problems and I just couldn't take it any more so I just stopped talking to her after I explained to her why I was upset with her. I didn't want a verbal battle or anything so I just ended the friendship by not talking to her and phasing her out. This has caused her to verbally trash me every chance she gets, by talking to mutual friends and especially my boyfriend. It really bothers me because I haven't spoken to her in months and still, about once every week I hear from a friend/acquaintance that "Karen" hates me and how I ruined her relationship with my boyfriend because they used to be best friends. I don't care if they are still friends and they still talk, but I was HER best friend not him and SHE ruined our relationship not me. I don't have a problem not being friends with her any more because she did some aweful things that I do not want to be associated with, but everyone else seems to think she's wonderful and wonders why I no longer am friends with her.
I keep trying to justify myself in stopping our friendship by remembering all the horrible things she's done to me. She would make me feel bad by smoking pot with my boyfriend (who has stopped for months now) and making fun of me because I wouldn't do it while also rubbing it in my face that she spent the day with my boyfriend high without me! Also, sophomore year (I'm a senior in high school now) my mother went through breast cancer and I thought I would lose her. When I needed someone to talk to she was hardly ever there. She would talk about how her mom was lucky because she had large breasts. When I had never had a boyfriend or kissed anyone last year she made lists of all the things she's done with boys... I could continue on but I'll spare you. I really have no one to complain to about her, I'd rather keep it to myself than spread rumors about her to random people like she is doing to me.
I guess I just really need advice on how I stop from feeling so down when she talks about me in negative ways to other people? Should I confront her in a mature way?
Yes i think it would be a good idea. I think you should explain to her why you started to ignore her and what a good friend is suppose to do. Maybe its wasnt such a good idea to one day just ignore her but it sure doesnt give her any reason to talk smack about you. It sounds like she was one of those friends that wants to be better than you and doesnt want you happy. After explaining why you are not talking to her anymore and she says something rude to you (if she does) just walk away and who cares what she says its not like any of your friends are going to disown you by what she says, and if they do, oh well friends in college will be the ones you will keep in touch with, not the ones in high school. If she decides to just say oh i am sorry, its up to you to be friends again, i personally wouldnt because i had a friend like that and they never do change they take every chance they have to screw you into the ground, hope that helps a little bit
Posts: 40 | From: duluth mn us | Registered: Nov 2005
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