Donate Now
We've Moved! Check out our new boards.
  New Poll  
my profile | directory login | search | faq | forum home

  next oldest topic   next newest topic
» Scarleteen Boards: 2000 - 2014 (Archive) » SCARLETEEN CENTRAL » Relationships » Porn Magazines

 - UBBFriend: Email this page to someone!    
Author Topic: Porn Magazines
Member # 11445

Icon 10 posted      Profile for cutie_babe     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
Okay my boyfriend and I have been together for 5 years we have had our ups and downs and he always said he did not look at porns and get off to them....well yesterday by accident i seen them and he got caught...he said he started looking at them when we were having problems like 1 and half ago...and i have been freaking out like crying non stop i feel like i am not good enough for him so he has to look at he is college and says he get lonley...blah he ripped them up in front of me and said the does not need them...but am i i feel that i am not good enough he knows i struggle with my weight and now i feel that he has broken the trust he hs hidden this from me for like 2 years i guess my question is should I be this mad at him just because he has porno magazines?
Posts: 20 | From: America | Registered: Jan 2003  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Member # 27312

Icon 7 posted      Profile for lotesseflower     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
I think that we often don't understand why men use porn, or how they do it. My boyfriend looks at porn, and with my permission--although I bug him about making sure that it wasn't made exploitatively. I don't think that there's any real comparaison being made between our bodies and those in the magazines. Fantasy doesn't have to relate that closely with reality.

Sex, especially when you've been together as long as you two have, is about more than body image. You love the whole person, right? In your boyfriend's defense, long-distance is tough. Talk to him about it. Try to not be hurt, I'm sure he didn't mean to cause you any pain. Be open about how you feel, and listen to what he has to say. This doesn't have to be the end of the world.

Posts: 31 | From: Illinois | Registered: Feb 2006  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Scarleteen Volunteer
Member # 20094

Icon 10 posted      Profile for Karybu     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
Looking at porn is actually completely normal, and as long as it's not becoming compulsive (interfering with someone's daily life) then it's totally okay. Porn is, as lotesseflower mentioned, fantasy. And there is a world of difference between fantasy and reality. (Keep in mind, too, that looking at/enjoying porn is not just a "guy thing" - it's something people of all genders do.)

There's a really helpful article on the main site that I think will clear a lot of things up for you: Looking, Lusting & Learning.

[This message has been edited by karybu (edited 02-01-2006).]

Posts: 5799 | From: Canada/Australia | Registered: Sep 2004  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator

  New Poll   Close Topic   Feature Topic   Move Topic   Delete Topic next oldest topic   next newest topic
 - Printer-friendly view of this topic
Hop To:

Contact Us | Get the Whole Story! Go Home to SCARLETEEN: Sex Ed for the Real World | Privacy Statement

Copyright 1998, 2014 Heather Corinna/Scarleteen Providing comprehensive sex education online to teens and young adults worldwide since 1998

Information on this site is provided for educational purposes. It is not meant to and cannot substitute for advice or care provided by an in-person medical professional. The information contained herein is not meant to be used to diagnose or treat a health problem or disease, or for prescribing any medication. You should always consult your own healthcare provider if you have a health problem or medical condition.

Powered by UBB.classic™ 6.7.3