Donate Now
  New Poll  
my profile | directory login | search | faq | forum home

  next oldest topic   next newest topic
» Scarleteen Boards: 2000 - 2014 (Archive) » SCARLETEEN CENTRAL » Relationships » one word: H E L P

 - UBBFriend: Email this page to someone!    
Author Topic: one word: H E L P
missblacknwhite
Neophyte
Member # 27261

Icon 10 posted      Profile for missblacknwhite     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
I have a best friend recently revealed that he likes me and wants to date me. I reciprocate in feeling however there is a dilemma... my very good female friend likes him, has dated him for about a month a year ago, and is actively trying to pursue him. My other best female friend has liked him for 2 years and is also trying to engage him. Both girls know that my bf (best friend) and I are very close yet they have no clue that romanticism's involved... in fact, I was an "advocate" for one of them- to push my best friend away when he made comments such as "I want a gf, etc." I told him that I'd help him look for a gf, totally naieve and innocent in the metamessaging behind his statements- that gf he was looking for is me. All of this has been happening in the course of 8 months and we haven't done anything sexual at all besides a mere drunken kiss that literally lasted 3 seconds. I don't know what to do- my female friends rarely call me (we talk about once a week) where as my best friend calls me everyday. By dating him I'll hurt my two female friends, by not dating him I'll hurt us two. I really like and care for my best friend, and a huge part of me wants to go through with it even though my female friends will probably never talk to me again... it's a risk but what we have is real. He wants to tell the girls that he likes me and wants to date me but I have been the one that's told him to wait and not say anything because I'm unceratin.... What should I do? Any advice would help so much.
Posts: 3 | Registered: Jan 2006  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
LoSt4NoW
Neophyte
Member # 16249

Icon 10 posted      Profile for LoSt4NoW     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
Well if it was me I would do one of two things. One just stay good friends with him, I know it would hurt, but your friends will always be there and to me a guy is never worth loosing friends over. You could also have him break the news to your friends that he likes you and wants to date you, but make sure that when he tells them that he makes sure that you are clueless about his feelings. This way they have no reason to be mad at him and if they get mad because of his feelings towards you or yours towards him than they arnt very good friends. There are many other men that are out there for them.
Posts: 35 | From: Decatur,IL,USA | Registered: Jan 2004  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
missblacknwhite
Neophyte
Member # 27261

Icon 10 posted      Profile for missblacknwhite     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
Thanks for the advice Lost4Now.. it turns out yesterday he told my closest friend that he has feelings for me while I was at work and we talked; he plans on telling my other friend now so I've been anxious, you can only imagine. Ah here goes nothing lol thanks for the advice okay!
Posts: 3 | Registered: Jan 2006  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
lotesseflower
Neophyte
Member # 27312

Icon 10 posted      Profile for lotesseflower     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
good luck--romantic dilemmas with friends can be really hard, but this guy sounds pretty cool. That was a fairly wonderful thing to do.

Be available for your friend. it's hard to be the one that doesn't get the guy.


Posts: 31 | From: Illinois | Registered: Feb 2006  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
   

  New Poll   Close Topic   Feature Topic   Move Topic   Delete Topic next oldest topic   next newest topic
 - Printer-friendly view of this topic
Hop To:


Contact Us | Get the Whole Story! Go Home to SCARLETEEN: Sex Ed for the Real World | Privacy Statement

Copyright 1998, 2014 Heather Corinna/Scarleteen
Scarleteen.com: Providing comprehensive sex education online to teens and young adults worldwide since 1998

Information on this site is provided for educational purposes. It is not meant to and cannot substitute for advice or care provided by an in-person medical professional. The information contained herein is not meant to be used to diagnose or treat a health problem or disease, or for prescribing any medication. You should always consult your own healthcare provider if you have a health problem or medical condition.

Powered by UBB.classic™ 6.7.3