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» Scarleteen Boards: 2000 - 2014 (Archive) » SCARLETEEN CENTRAL » Relationships » Having Doubts

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Author Topic: Having Doubts
ryumo13
Neophyte
Member # 23372

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I'm 16, 17 in a few months. I've been with my girlfriend for just over a year now, and we lost our virginity to each other. I do love her, but lately i've been having doubts about our relationship. I've only ever had one girlfriend before her, but i never did anything sexual with my first girlfriend and it only lasted a few months. My current girlfriend, however, has had many boyfriends. She never had sex with any of them but has done other things. Sometimes I feel that i'm too young to be in a longterm relationship, i often wish i could go out and be single again. But i also don't think i want to leave me girlfriend. What should I do?

[This message has been edited by ryumo13 (edited 01-29-2006).]


Posts: 5 | From: England | Registered: May 2005  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Ecofem
Activist
Member # 13388

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Hey ryumo13,

It's certainly understandable how you are feeling. It's hard because you do love your girlfriend but also would maybe prefer to be single or date casually.

It's not an easy topic to bring up, but I would discuss your feelings with your girlfriend. Perhaps she is feeling the same way and would also like to switch to causal dating or a platonic friendship.

Definitely listen to your gut feelings: As much as you love your girlfriend, being single might be the best thing for both of you in the long run. However, it's easier said than done, and having had a lot of sexual firsts with the other person can certainly make breaking up harder.

Here's an article about relationships in general; some of it doesn't really apply (as in I'm not trying to send hidden messages ) but I think it raises good points about relationships in general. http://www.scarleteen.com/relationships/potholes.html

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Urgency always exists/In these rooms/In one's own four walls *Tocotronic*


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lotesseflower
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Member # 27312

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I'm actually really afraid of this too. I've stayed with the boyfriend that I lost my virginity to, because I do love him. we're in a long-distance relationship right now, and the solution that we worked out was that we can both mess around while I'm away at school, with the understanding that we would rather be with one another but can't be.

I'm still nervous about it, but I love him, and being with him makes me happy. I can't leave him just because we net when I was young.


Posts: 31 | From: Illinois | Registered: Feb 2006  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
St_Megnolia
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Member # 20234

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I'm going to tell you what my room mate told me last night. She told me "You can not give 110% to sombody else until you know who you are, where you are going, what you want, what you need and how you want to be treated." She said "you can not expect anybody else to know how to treat you if you do not know how to treat yourself or how you would like to be treated".

I know I've quoted this on other posts but I think it makes sense.
You might really benefit from time spent alone, figuring yourself out. who knows, you could come to realize that your girlfriend is the absolute ONE and that you love her more than you ever realized or you could find out that it wasn't right and you made the right decition taking a break.
Either way you're both young and I don't blame you for wanting to see what and who else is out there at this stage in your life.



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ryumo13
Neophyte
Member # 23372

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Thanks for all your advice guys. I tried to make it work for a while but unfortunately we couldnt. We broke up a few days ago. Thank you anyway

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Nobody said it would be easy, fighting your way through another day


Posts: 5 | From: England | Registered: May 2005  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
   

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