I think that these kinds of breakups are due more to personal insecurities/personal issues than anything. I have friends who have used this line as a way to let the other person down nicely when they were in a bad personal situation, troubles at home, what have you, and didn't want to tangle their partner up in it as well.
And I've met a few people who had low self-esteem/depression/etc issues, and felt like they were not "good enough" to be with their partner. As depression is something that no loving partner can magically cure, the people in question ended their relationships to try and figure out what was going on with themselves first.
And I have met people for whom it's a total line of escape, just to get out of a relationship sans too much hurt to their partner. It seems like that other rather popular line of "you're just too nice, I don't deserve you!" and blowing someone off with a measure of attempted kindness.
Basically, breakups happen for a number of reasons. Someone could be sincere or be totally unaffected by a relationship while ending it. So yes, it is possible for someone to genuinely feel that their partner is more than he/she deserves and he/she is not good enough.
Posts: 640 | From: The Valley of the Sun, AZ, USA | Registered: May 2004
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Quote: "i know i would absolutly looove to have someone love me more than anyone else in the world, even if they could do better, they chose ME!"
I totally agree with you there. I constantly think that my boyfriend is too good for me. But that doesn't chage how I feel about him or how he feels about me. I guess it comes from our high school days. When we were in high school he was in the "cool" crowd and I definitely wasn't. We never would have hooked up if we had met back then. Luckily we met after he had graduated and he didn't see me as a "loser" because we weren't surrounded by high school stereotypes. He still asks me how I could have been unpopular in school.
The bottom line is that, sometimes, people get twisted ideas about their "station in life" so even though I may have been "less cool" in high school, he doesn't see it that way. Its's only me that thinks he's better. We'll be celebrating our 3rd anniversary on Feb 1st. So I guess better than me or not...we're still compatable
yah i pretty much agree with the person above. many of us if not all have little secrets and are insecure about ourself, our personality, or beauty and other things that when we look at our partner we see them like the perfect person and we love them and care for them because of everything they are so we feel ingerior because we do not see ourselves that way
Posts: 60 | From: Bonita, California, United States | Registered: May 2005
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Watermongoose, please don't post just to "echo" what someone else has said. Please make sure you're adding something "new" to the discussion. Also, please type in proper English. It's a benefit to everyone to do so.
Posts: 2789 | From: The Evergreen State | Registered: Jun 2000
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"You are more than i deserve, and i am not good enough for you."
Honestly I don't believe in this at all. How many of you have told your parents that you don't deserve this thing or that thing for example ?
I bet not many.
However I do believe that the aim by saying this is simply trying not to hurt the opposite partner. It's a way of saying, it's not your fault, it's me that doesn't feel that this relationship is good for me.
That sounds silly. My guy always says he doesnt deserve me... but he is really just complimenting me. If anything if they really feel that way they should be honerd to be with you and cherish you always.
Posts: 47 | Registered: Feb 2006
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