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Author Topic: Normal?
rkscar
Neophyte
Member # 26917

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Okay. I started dating my current BF about a year ago. He was my first love and first time. I, on the other hand, was not his first. Far from his first.
We had a few problems and fight, but he cheated on me last summer. Given, he was under the influence of a heavy drug, but that is no excuse.

In September, he and I broke up for a little while to figure out why we were fighting so much. During the break up, he slept with one of my friends, who I no longer talk to because of it.

After fighting and me telling him that I wanted to be single, he changed. I know many people say that their signifigant other has changed. But honestly, he is a different person and treats me 100 times better.

I constantly tell him how much it hurt me and he hates himself for it.

Is it normal for me to be this hooked on the past, even though things are improving for the future? Am I the only one with this type of relationship?

I mean, if someone cheats on you and things improve, even if they hurt you a few times, is it normal to stay with them?

Please tell me about your relationship if you have a similar type or give me some advice.

Thanks,
+Peaches+

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......My heart's a battleground.......


Posts: 6 | From: VA | Registered: Jan 2006  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
kandie
Activist
Member # 7542

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The only problem about dwelling in the past is the chance of missing the future or even more sad, whats going on right now. Lots of people go back to there partners after one or the other has cheated, the thing to keep in mind is can you really TRUST this person anymore? if the answer is NO then it probley not work out. Trust is key and when someone in the realtionship doubts the other it causes a very big void. Now you sounds like your willing to give this guy another chance and that he may be sincerly sorry for what he has done, but I would take this slowly and do what your heart and intuition tell you. It may hurt or it may not but it is never wrong. And in regards to your friend who slept with your bf... do you really think it's fair to write her off but not him?.... after all it takes two to tango.
Good luck sweetie

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~*KaNdIe*~:)


Posts: 79 | From: CaNaDa | Registered: Mar 2002  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
DreamsDespersing
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Member # 25488

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i was at one time in a situation sort of similar. Except, sort of the oppostie, my best friend went on a break with her b/f, in which time, i hooked up with him (which, techniacally (although i do regret it) was fine, since they were not datig). but, anywho, she went back out with him and they were fine.

However, if you are going to go out with him, and have a trusting relationship, you need to be nice about the whole thing. once you get mad at him and "make him pay" for sleeping with your friend, you can't keep on using it against him. it will not help your case, and will eventually push him away.

also, you said:
During the break up, he slept with one of my friends, who I no longer talk to because of it.
not that it was right on any means, (i only made out with my friend's ex and i still regret it) but maybe you could look into being friends with her agian? especialy, it takes 2 people to sleep together, don't take all your anger out on her?


made short, if you are going to trust him, then you have to actualy trust him

sorry if i sounded too zstuck up or something, , good-luck, hope at least parts of this help?

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If it makes you less sad, I will die by your hand. And if it makes you less sad, we'll start talking again.

[This message has been edited by DreamsDespersing (edited 01-17-2006).]


Posts: 36 | From: New York | Registered: Sep 2005  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
rkscar
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Member # 26917

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Thank you guys. It really made me feel less alone.
<3

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......My heart's a battleground.......


Posts: 6 | From: VA | Registered: Jan 2006  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
   

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