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» Scarleteen Boards: 2000 - 2014 (Archive) » SCARLETEEN CENTRAL » Relationships » He works too much

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Author Topic: He works too much
meowster123
Neophyte
Member # 26911

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My boyfriend and I have been going out for two months and I have been mostly happy with this realtionship. Except for the fact I don't see him much. We don't go to the same schools and our houses are not within a comfortable walking distance. Saturday and Sunday he works all day at the bowling alley so I can't see him. Currently my Fridays are filled with Ski Club. He also works during the week sometimes. And he often has bowling practice and then cannot get home early enough because lack of transportation.

So pretty much I spend quality with him twice a week, if that. Last night we made plans to spend time together today and I call, finding out that he is at the bowling alley! So now I am pretty pissed off. It feels like he is cheating on me with the stupid bowling alley.

I'll probably get a phone call later saying he forgot or that he got stuck with work and couldn't call me. I can't demand that he cut back his hours. That money helps support his mom and sister. What should I do? I really really like him but this is starting to wear on my nerves. I want to get closer but its hard to do it if he isn't there.

[This message has been edited by meowster123 (edited 01-09-2006).]


Posts: 2 | Registered: Jan 2006  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
DarkChild717
Scarleteen Volunteer
Member # 139

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What should you do? Count your blessings that you see him at all. Really.

I've been with my partner for four years now, and in the beginning, I was lucky if I saw him once a week, if at all. Two times a week is really quite nice, I assure you.

As for getting closer, talking on the phone does a great deal. I learned so much about my partner when he'd call me from work when he worked the night shift, long before we met in person again.

Have you considered going to the bowling alley to see him there? If you need transportation to see him anyway, would it be much to just continue on to there?

Please, don't begrudge him for working and earning money, espeically if it supports his family. Guilting him for doing so isn't really fair.


Posts: 2789 | From: The Evergreen State | Registered: Jun 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
LilBlueSmurf
Scarleteen Volunteer
Member # 1207

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I LIVE with my boyfriend and sometimes i don't even get two nights/wk of quality time!! He works straight nights and i go to school during the day and have homework when i get home. The fact is, two nights/wk of 'quality time' is pretty average, if not above average.

That all said, it is NOT okay for him to make plans w/ you and not follow through. If he absolutely can't do whatever he said he would do, he needs to call. I can understand why you are upset about that; it's not fair and it's not considerate at all.

What do you two do on the days you do get to spend together? I would say, if you only have two nights/wk (and again, 2 nights/wk is pretty good!), make it good! Go out for dinner, go see a movie, go out w/ friends ... Do something you both like and can have fun doing. Make it count.


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kitty_cuddles
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Member # 27104

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I can understand what you're going through. It's hard when you want to spend time with a person but they have a busy schedule. I see my boyfriend about once or twice a week too. Try talking to him when you see each other or perhaps even over the phone, be patient and explain to him how you feel. On the days you do get to see him, make the most of it Do things that are fun and relaxing that you both will enjoy Hope it works out for the both of you!

Posts: 8 | From: Australia | Registered: Jan 2006  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
   

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