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» Scarleteen Boards: 2000 - 2014 (Archive) » SCARLETEEN CENTRAL » Relationships » Lack of love makes me feel strange

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Author Topic: Lack of love makes me feel strange
BoundByScarves
Neophyte
Member # 26746

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Hey everyone, not sure if this is really anything you guys can help me with, but thought I'd get some opinions.

I'm 18 yrs old, almost 19 (in 2 months)and I'm like one step away from being "The Ultimate Virgin". The most I've ever done is kiss, but they've always been those 2 second friend kisses. Never even a real romantic kiss. And the thing is, it's not like I'm against doing anything, I'd would be all up for messing around and doing quite a bit (save for actual sex, which I would have to really think about) but no one has ever asked me. No one has ever made on a move on me, or anything even remotely close. I told my mother this, and she said it was because people respect me. I comment, "Well, I wouldn't complain if certain people respected me a little less." I feel so weird. Why doesn't anyone hit on me? I mean, I might not say yes, but I'd like to be asked. I'm also a very affectionate person, if I know you well enough I will have my hands all over you. But I'm always the flirter, and never the flirtee. Is anyone else in this situation?


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Michelle Ravel
Activist
Member # 21100

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I first had sex when I was 19; before that, I had only kissed one other guy. I was glad I was that age, because the whole thing felt laid-back and not like a big deal. I was older and had learned not to stress about things.

And hey, I would've waited longer if I hadn't met a guy I really liked. Look, bottom line is, you want to be kissing/sleeping with guys who you like and who like you. If there aren't any of those around, then there's no point in getting any action with anyone else, because it will be bad. Good sex is the sex you have with people you like. Hold out for good sex, and don't stress about lack of experience, because plenty of "experienced" people are bad in bed. It all has to do with how relaxed you are. Really.

You are perfectly normal. 18 or 19 is not that old. I guess the point of my long story is that I was that age, too, so you're not alone.


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BoundByScarves
Neophyte
Member # 26746

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True, I don't want to be like that with just anyone, but they're have been people like that around, and they're are right now. There's a guy I've liked for the past 6 months, and he's a good friend so I'm afraid to say anything because I don't want things awkward between us. Maybe it wouldn't be so bad if I'd had something. Never even been asked out, unless you count this guy I "dated" last year. But he was just an in-school boyfriend, and we only held hands.
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Ascalon_Vice
Neophyte
Member # 23438

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Well, sitting there hoping for a guy to ask you out is a bad route to go down IMO. Being a flirt and taking initiative isn't bad at all, it shows confidence. There's nothing wrong with asking guys out, just don't go crazy with it. And sometimes, you've got to take some risks, if it means you'll be happy.


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BoundByScarves
Neophyte
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I try to be confident and everything, but I'm so afraid of making things awkward between us. That's a risk I don't want to take. It's scary. You make it sound so easy, but it's not.
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Ascalon_Vice
Neophyte
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Life is all about risks. Yeah, things could end up awkward between you two or you could end up getting old together. Either way, it's your call, but you shouldn't let a little awkwardness scare you.

Plus, there are plenty of other guys out there if you want to keep your friendship with him.

And the last thing I want to do is be-little you, or make it seem like I know everything. I was just giving you some advice. It your choice whether or not you want to take it.


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witchdokta
Neophyte
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I was in your situation till I was nearly 20 as well, so it's not so unusual! Funnily enough I lost my virginity within about 20 minutes of my first 'proper' kiss; got it all outta the way in one go! That was some night, I tell ya.
Posts: 9 | From: London, UK | Registered: Feb 2006  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
   

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