long time, no see!
i'm in a bit of a pickle, sad to say.
this past summer i met a boy. after being single for two years (and wanting it that way) i was really happy since we have a lot in common. i developed a crush on him, but the problem was that he was an out-of-towner. he lives on the other side of the country, so i never worked up the courage to tell him how i felt. we hung out as friends and then he went back.
we kept in touch via msn messenger and after a while i finally worked up the courage to confess my feelings. i was more than a little scared, but it turned out okay because the feelings were reciprocal. yay! anyhow, we understood that we both like one another, but that doesn't change the fact that we live on opposite sides of the country, so we agreed to be just friends and if an opportunity ever arose for us to explore anything more, we'd take it.
flash forward a few months. i end up going out to his city for vacation to visit some friends for a week and a half. he and i start hanging out while i'm there and kind of dating, in a no-pressure sort of way. needless to say, at this point i end up really falling for the guy. but we agree that we just have to be friends and when i go back we'll keep in touch.
anyhow, i make a decision to get over him, so i start dating quite a bit when i get back home. i was seeing three guys on a very casual basis, but it didn't take me long to realize that i was not really into any of them and was doing it to get over the guy. so i end it with each of them, which is, for the most part, fine except with one. he is upset and claims it is too hard to be friends with me because he's in love with me (after less than a month!) and so on. so we stop hanging out. and then he turns around and starts calling me all the time, so i agree to spend time with him on a friends-only basis, which he's not great about respecting. he makes a couple of attempts to kiss me, but i never let him. i still spend time with him because he's a cool guy and i do feel a bit guilty.
anyhow, life throws me yet another curve ball when it turns out, for entirely seperate reasons, i am going to be moving across the country to the same place the guy i like lives in. random. anyhow, we talk about it and it's cool. no pressure.
the thing is that, while we've been keeping in touch this whole time, i've been very open and honest about my life. including my dating life. i've told him about the guys and how i've been seeing them and some of what has happened. i didn't really think twice about it (when perhaps i should have) because i'm pretty upfront and honest with everyone in my life. i made it clear when i ended things with these guys and i confessed that i didn't have feelings for them (cause i didn't want to be one of those manipulative girls trying to make him jealous).
he and i were talking tonight and i had plans to hang out with the guy i had been seeing. anyhow, my crush started asking me some questions and i ended up telling him about how the guy had told me he loves me and how i felt guilty because i didn't feel the same way in return. i complained a bit about dating as a whole. guh. my crush seemed a bit snippy and put-off, though, and ended up leaving.
anyhow, the BIG twist (who knew there could be more?) was that i found out afterwards that the guy i had been seeing was a big sham. he had made a bet that he could sleep with me in the span of a month! there was $100 riding on it and if he lost, he had to confess to me about the bet. so this whole time he was telling me he loves me and was making me feel horrible for not feeling the same way in return and all of it was just a ploy to get into my pants. which didn't work, by the way.
i am horrified. i thought i was going to throw up. and now i'm scared i might have ruined things with my crush by being so open and honest with him. guh!
any sage words of wisdom?