Originally posted by ayeayeaye:
i just wonder if its so unrealistic or if my boyfriend just really isn't as affectionate and loving as many boyfriends really are...
Movies are entertainment, and the relationships they portray are usually pretty extreme so that it is entertaining. Romantic movies in particular are full of melodrama--to the max. They show only a few sides of fictional, completely-engineered-to-be-interesting relationships. To expect your boyfriend to be like a guy from a movie is to expect something unrealistic, because movies don't often show relationships as they "really" are. There's just not enough time!
Guys can act like they do in the movies. Or they can act better, or they can act worse. But the same applies to girls, to parents, to cats and to dogs. You wouldn't model your real life relationship off of "Lady and the Tramp", would you? Or "The Sound of Music", or any Bollywood romance ever created.
The guy in "The Notebook" is one end of the spectrum, the guys from "Closer" are the other end. There's Romeo, who died from loving Juliet so much, and then there's Othello, who killed Desdemona for loving him so much. You want your guy to act like the "guys from the movies/stories/whatever", but it really depends on what movie/story/play that you choose, doesn't it?
Just like there are such different types of love stories and romantic movies, there are different guys. You shouldn't expect him to be like any stereotypical guy from any sweetly saccharine movie that you love. Your relationship isn't going to benefit from you setting it against the impossible standards of movies.
And I think my relationship is better than any highly sentimental, dramatically touching movie relationship portrayed on the big screen. At the end of the day, I'm not betrothed to someone else and pining away while the one I truly love is battling the king of France (who just happens to be his magnificently despicable evil twin) for proper reign over the country while simultaneously fighting to regain my hand in marriage from my twenty-years-too-old fiancee.
So, when my boyfriend does something sweet, I'm happy because he's doing it because he wants to, not because he thinks that Shane West from "A Walk to Remember" did it and he should, too. And if he does something that isn't quite the sweetest thing in the world, that's ok too. As long as he's not pulling an Anakin Skywalker and "loving" me right into my grave, I'll be fine.
[This message has been edited by faifai (edited 12-28-2005).]