Donate Now
We've Moved! Check out our new boards.
  New Poll  
my profile | directory login | search | faq | forum home

  next oldest topic   next newest topic
» Scarleteen Boards: 2000 - 2014 (Archive) » SCARLETEEN CENTRAL » Relationships » movie relationships

 - UBBFriend: Email this page to someone!    
Author Topic: movie relationships
Member # 16787

Icon 1 posted      Profile for ayeayeaye     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
i was just wondering...does anyone actually have a romantic relationship like what happens in the movies? do guys really act like that do in the movies? i am a sucker for romance movies and i'm wondering if its hurting my relationship because the relationship i have with my boyfriend is far from anyone like i've seen (we've been together almost 2.5 years) and i long for to be like The Notebook, or something. i just wonder if its so unrealistic or if my boyfriend just really isn't as affectionate and loving as many boyfriends really are...i need help...
Posts: 138 | Registered: Feb 2004  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Member # 18028

Icon 1 posted      Profile for coolestdesignz     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
It's disturbingly unrealistic, and you probably should attempt to separate reality from fantasy.

The Blog That Tries Really Hard Not to be a Blog

DanielTeichman@Internet #

Posts: 203 | From: Laguna Niguel, CA, USA | Registered: May 2004  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Scarleteen Volunteer
Member # 17971

Icon 1 posted      Profile for faifai     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
Originally posted by ayeayeaye:
i just wonder if its so unrealistic or if my boyfriend just really isn't as affectionate and loving as many boyfriends really are...

Movies are entertainment, and the relationships they portray are usually pretty extreme so that it is entertaining. Romantic movies in particular are full of melodrama--to the max. They show only a few sides of fictional, completely-engineered-to-be-interesting relationships. To expect your boyfriend to be like a guy from a movie is to expect something unrealistic, because movies don't often show relationships as they "really" are. There's just not enough time!

Guys can act like they do in the movies. Or they can act better, or they can act worse. But the same applies to girls, to parents, to cats and to dogs. You wouldn't model your real life relationship off of "Lady and the Tramp", would you? Or "The Sound of Music", or any Bollywood romance ever created.

The guy in "The Notebook" is one end of the spectrum, the guys from "Closer" are the other end. There's Romeo, who died from loving Juliet so much, and then there's Othello, who killed Desdemona for loving him so much. You want your guy to act like the "guys from the movies/stories/whatever", but it really depends on what movie/story/play that you choose, doesn't it?

Just like there are such different types of love stories and romantic movies, there are different guys. You shouldn't expect him to be like any stereotypical guy from any sweetly saccharine movie that you love. Your relationship isn't going to benefit from you setting it against the impossible standards of movies.

And I think my relationship is better than any highly sentimental, dramatically touching movie relationship portrayed on the big screen. At the end of the day, I'm not betrothed to someone else and pining away while the one I truly love is battling the king of France (who just happens to be his magnificently despicable evil twin) for proper reign over the country while simultaneously fighting to regain my hand in marriage from my twenty-years-too-old fiancee.

So, when my boyfriend does something sweet, I'm happy because he's doing it because he wants to, not because he thinks that Shane West from "A Walk to Remember" did it and he should, too. And if he does something that isn't quite the sweetest thing in the world, that's ok too. As long as he's not pulling an Anakin Skywalker and "loving" me right into my grave, I'll be fine.

[This message has been edited by faifai (edited 12-28-2005).]

Posts: 640 | From: The Valley of the Sun, AZ, USA | Registered: May 2004  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Member # 17968

Icon 1 posted      Profile for Ghosty     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
Couldn't agree more with faifai, very well written and explained
Posts: 79 | Registered: May 2004  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Gumdrop Girl
Scarleteen Volunteer
Member # 568

Icon 1 posted      Profile for Gumdrop Girl     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
faifai, that was a brilliant reply. mine would have been more in the vein of coolestdesignz

LA County STD Hotline 1.800.758.0880
Toll free STD and clinic information, and condoms sent to your door for Los Angeles County residents.
1 in 3 sexually active people will be exposed to a STD by the time they turn 24.

Posts: 12677 | From: Los Angeles, CA ... somewhere off the 10 | Registered: Jul 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Erin xx
Member # 26734

Icon 1 posted      Profile for Erin xx     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
Oh man, do I wish that real-life relationships were like the movies. I've seen a few that actually are. I've seen more that aren't. The one that I'm in right now actually DID, at first, feel like the movies, but in the end... This is all real life, and the movies are just a bunch of actors getting paid to pretend that they are in love.
Your relationship is whatever you make of it.

Posts: 7 | From: Mount Airy, MD, USA | Registered: Dec 2005  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Member # 17567

Icon 1 posted      Profile for ladydexter     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
Have to say, if I had a relationship which was like a movie, I'd be looking for the hidden camera. ^.^

Relationships are supposed to have ups and downs, they're not picture perfect like most movies. Whilst in the beginning they may be all sunshine and butterflies, they certainly won't stay that way. Eventually, you'll reach a point where you just act normally - because the courtship's over and there's no need to impress one another.

Posts: 336 | From: Manchester, UK | Registered: Apr 2004  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator

  New Poll   Close Topic   Feature Topic   Move Topic   Delete Topic next oldest topic   next newest topic
 - Printer-friendly view of this topic
Hop To:

Contact Us | Get the Whole Story! Go Home to SCARLETEEN: Sex Ed for the Real World | Privacy Statement

Copyright 1998, 2014 Heather Corinna/Scarleteen Providing comprehensive sex education online to teens and young adults worldwide since 1998

Information on this site is provided for educational purposes. It is not meant to and cannot substitute for advice or care provided by an in-person medical professional. The information contained herein is not meant to be used to diagnose or treat a health problem or disease, or for prescribing any medication. You should always consult your own healthcare provider if you have a health problem or medical condition.

Powered by UBB.classic™ 6.7.3