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» Scarleteen Boards: 2000 - 2014 (Archive) » SCARLETEEN CENTRAL » Relationships » Problem w/ a friend

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Author Topic: Problem w/ a friend
Member # 6514

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Me and my husband are friends with another military couple, Anna and Shawn. Shawn is over in Iraq now, and a few weeks after they got there, I was on instant messenger, and he came on. He IMed me first and asked how things were going. I said things were going fine and asked how everything was in Iraq, and if he was okay. He said things were good, and that he missed me. Me and him are good friends (and simply just that, friends, nothing more), and I told him I missed him too.

When me and my husband were having problems, he would be there to help me through it because him and his wife had the same problems every once in awhile. I trusted him, until he started hitting on me. He kept asking me to do things that I didn't want to do, or would ever think about doing EVER on the computer. When I told him no, he kept pushing me to do it. I still told him no.

A few weeks later, Anna said that she had read his e-mails and saw some from a girl, Sara, which is one of her friends. She said they had exchanged some... rather... intimate details to one another, and so on.

That's when I told her that he had tried to do the same thing to me a few weeks back. She asked me if I did anything with him over the computer and I told her no, I kept telling him that it was wrong for him to be doing that in the first place, and that I would never do that to her.

She had talked to him shortly after that, he started saying that I was hitting on him and being rather sexual with him. I told her it was NOT true, it was the other way around.

Now she won't talk to me. She says I kept this secret from her for too long and I should have just told her right away. I was really scared to tell her about it when it first happened.

I don't know what to do now. She's calling me a whore and a slut for trying to make her husband cheat on her with me. I've been trying to tell her that it's twisted around. I even saved the conversation we had and showed it to her, but she still believes her husband over me, who has proof of the conversation we had.

Was I wrong in telling her that? Should I have kept it to myself? Thanks in advance.

Yesterday is history
Tomorrow is mystery
Today is a gift


Posts: 294 | From: Minneapolis | Registered: Jan 2002  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Scarleteen Volunteer
Member # 1207

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I think you were right in telling her, even if you did wait a little too long ...

You've done all you can do here. She's going to believe what she's going to believe ... It's unfortunate that she's chosen to believe him over you, even though there's evidence that he's doing this with her other friends.

If i were you, i'd block him (and her, if she's going to continue on in this manner. No one needs 'friends' like that.)

Posts: 7168 | From: Ontario | Registered: Sep 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
sexy skater
Member # 26742

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Well sweetie, I think you've done the right thing in telling her.If she doesn't believe you then thats her problem.At least you told her late or not. Her husband is a liar and as long as you stick to the truth, then theres nothing more u can do.
P.S.- thanx for the advice!


Posts: 5 | From: austell,GA,USA | Registered: Dec 2005  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator

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