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» Scarleteen Boards: 2000 - 2014 (Archive) » SCARLETEEN CENTRAL » Relationships » GF Question

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Author Topic: GF Question
Ascalon_Vice
Neophyte
Member # 23438

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Well, my ex-gf of 5 yrs. and I broke up a couple of months back and it ended kinda bad. About a month ago, I told her that I still had feelings for her, and she said the same. Unfortunately, she is in another relationship right now, but she still wants tells me that she loves me and that she wants to be in my life. She is happy, and her bf sounds like a great guy. I want her to be happy and all, but I want her to be happy with me (if that makes sense). It's really up to her to make the decision, but I'm guessing she's going to wait for them to break up or something, because she's still with this guy. I want her to choose between us, but I don't want to force her or anything.

Should I step aside and let her go? Or should I keep fighting for her?


Posts: 17 | From: Ohio, United States | Registered: May 2005  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
DarkChild717
Scarleteen Volunteer
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Frankly, she's in another relationship. So, she's off limits to you until that relationship is done. In the mean time, it'll be better for you to pick up an hobby and move on. Wallowing in self-pity is never fun for anyone.

Step aside. When she's ready, she'll come looking, but until then, don't beat yourself up over something that might never be.


Posts: 2789 | From: The Evergreen State | Registered: Jun 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
coolestdesignz
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If she wanted you that badly, she probably wouldn't be with someone else right now. On that note, keep going.

Personally, I wouldn't take her back unless I couldn't get anyone else and she broke up.

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Posts: 203 | From: Laguna Niguel, CA, USA | Registered: May 2004  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Bobolink
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Taking somebody back becaus you "couldn't get anyone else" is a really bad relationship idea. One doesn't have to be in a bad relationship in order to have a life.

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I do not feel obliged to believe that the same God who has endowed us with sense, reason, and intellect has intended us to forgo their use.

- Galileo


Posts: 3442 | From: Stirling, Ontario, Canada | Registered: Sep 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
coolestdesignz
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Bobolink, there's no gurantee that it wouldn't be a good relationship... it just wouldn't be the preferable choice.

Posts: 203 | From: Laguna Niguel, CA, USA | Registered: May 2004  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
ladydexter
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There is nothing wrong with being alone. I've been alone for six months now after a bad breakup with my fiance. I wouldn't go back to him if I couldn't find someone else. Remember, exes are exes for a reason, after all. If you split up once, maybe you're better off on your own than with them.

That's my feelings, anyway. Not aaying they're the be all and end all, just my opinion.


Posts: 336 | From: Manchester, UK | Registered: Apr 2004  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Heather
Executive Director & Founder
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quote:
Bobolink, there's no gurantee that it wouldn't be a good relationship... it just wouldn't be the preferable choice.

Actually, if you start to watch a lot of couples over time, it's generally pretty clear that settling for whomever is available to avoid being alone, or because no "better" options in partnership are present or apparent at a given time DOES tend to equal crappy relationships which leave one or both parties pretty dissatisfied, which often don't involve much passion or real intimacy.


Posts: 68290 | From: An island near Seattle | Registered: May 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
   

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