Got Questions?  Get Answers. Post New Topic  New Poll  Post A Reply
my profile | directory login | register | search | faq | forum home

  next oldest topic   next newest topic
» Got Questions? Get Answers. » SCARLETEEN CENTRAL » Relationships » Long Distance Relationships

 - UBBFriend: Email this page to someone!    
Author Topic: Long Distance Relationships
Emmajen
Activist
Member # 19913

Icon 1 posted      Profile for Emmajen     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
This has come up in my relationship recently so I was curious for other people's opinions. What do you think of long-distance relationships? Do you think they work? Do you think they're worth even trying? Or are you better off breaking up and trying to remain friends? If you have experience with this that'd be great to post, if not what would you do if confronted with this situation? Just to give context, this is talking about a long-term relationship of over 2 years.
Posts: 44 | Registered: Sep 2004  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
HumanTornado
Activist
Member # 23519

Icon 1 posted      Profile for HumanTornado     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
I have been in a long-distance relationship for the past year and a half. It gets frustrating a lot, especially if you have as little patience as I do, but I'd never dream of giving up my boyfriend just because we can't be in the same country just now.

With long-distance, relationships need to have a really strong foundation in trust and communication. Any relationship does, but it's so much more important if you spend so much time apart.

I firmly believe that it can work if you're just prepared to work for it.


Posts: 51 | Registered: May 2005  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Heather
Executive Director & Founder
Member # 3

Icon 1 posted      Profile for Heather     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
Until fairly recently in history, having intimate relationships be long distance at least sometimes was actually the norm.

For instance, courtships often happened with letters until two partners could meet, as urban communities are fairly new historically speaking. Often, partners would be away for a long time due to finding work, wars, the whole schpeal. Again, letters usually were communication during those times away.

Really, LDRs seem to work just as well as anything else does, but like anything else, it depends on what your needs are. It also depends on how well you can both keep up communication while apart, what agreements you can make to account for distance, and how independant both parties are.

Personally, a good half of my more serious relationships have been long distance for at least some period of time, and I've actually enjoyed a lot of the aspects of that. I like having a lot of space and time to myself. I like letter writing. I like the anticipation of the thing, I like talking for hours on the phone. I like how LDRs often seem to be great ways to nurture communication.

But there are downsides. When you're really financially chalenged, for instance, and can't call very often or can't arrange visits, it can be really hard. Sexually, for peopele who aren't reguar masturbators, if the relationship is to stay exclusive things can get tricky. And of course, you miss your partner a lot, especially if you're used to seeing them often or even daily.

What's your situation? Do you both want/need to keep your relationship exclusive? have the past two years been good for you, and would you want to further the relationship if it wasn't going to be LD?


Posts: 63426 | From: An island near Seattle | Registered: May 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Emmajen
Activist
Member # 19913

Icon 1 posted      Profile for Emmajen     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
Hey,thanks for the responses!
Miz S., I think we'd want to keep the relationship exclusive if we were to stay together. I'm thinking a bit in advance, honestly because it wouldnt' be till next fall but time does fly!The past 2.5 years have been amazing. In terms of furthering our relationship, we have of course talked about what we want out of our relationship but we're both still relatively young so we don't want to make promises we couldn't necessarily keep. We were, however, planning to move in together soon. We're not sure if we can do this now though if we end up in different countries!
Your responses were really helpful and made me feel better about the whole LDR concept! Thanks!

Posts: 44 | Registered: Sep 2004  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
   

Quick Reply
Message:

HTML is not enabled.
UBB Code™ is enabled.

Instant Graemlins
   


Post New Topic  New Poll  Post A Reply Close Topic   Feature Topic   Move Topic   Delete Topic next oldest topic   next newest topic
 - Printer-friendly view of this topic
Hop To:


Contact Us | Get the Whole Story! Go Home to SCARLETEEN: Sex Ed for the Real World | Privacy Statement

Copyright 1998, 2013 Heather Corinna/Scarleteen
Scarleteen.com: Providing comprehensive sex education online to teens and young adults worldwide since 1998

Information on this site is provided for educational purposes. It is not meant to and cannot substitute for advice or care provided by an in-person medical professional. The information contained herein is not meant to be used to diagnose or treat a health problem or disease, or for prescribing any medication. You should always consult your own healthcare provider if you have a health problem or medical condition.

Powered by UBB.classic™ 6.7.3

Google
Search Scarleteen