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» Scarleteen Boards: 2000 - 2014 (Archive) » SCARLETEEN CENTRAL » Relationships » something wrong with me?

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Author Topic: something wrong with me?
Member # 26065

Icon 1 posted      Profile for Tripwire     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
hey everyone

i know i'm going to sound like half of all guys out there, but i can't seem to find a girl that likes me back, for the life of me. this might be sorta long, but i'm trying to get as much background info in as possible.

I'm a junior in high school. (i turn 17 in a week) I've had 3 real girlfriends. The first was in 7th grade, it lasted 8 months, but was semi-long distance and it doesn't work too well when you can't drive. She ended it because she said we couldn't take the distance, and lack of seeing each other.

Then I was in a pretty serious relationship for 2 years with a girl named Kayla, which was sorta on-off towards the end because of complications. During one of those on-off times I dated one of my best friend Chelsea as a friend for a month, and it started to grow into more. I still loved Kayla and I still wanted us to work, so I told Chelsea I just wanted to be friends again.(and we are, thankfully) Kayla and I got back together for a while, then I broke up with her right before our 2-year anniversary for lying and overall doing more damage than good for me. It seems like she sorta used me a little, but I also might've used her a little too. We never had sex, but we almost did a few times. I thought I truly loved this girl, and I'm still not sure. I think I was spoiled by her over-appreciation for me. Anyway...

Now here comes my problem:
All of my previous girlfriends liked me before/at the same time I liked them. That's the _only_ reason I made the move to ask them out, because I knew they would say yes. There have been a few girls since that I have liked, and found attractive personally and physically, but it seems they just weren't noticing me as anything special.

I don't even notice it, but all my friends (that are girls) tell me I'm extremely sweet and romantic, and also pretty attractive(although I am sorta self-conscious). I'm dedicated, I love to help people, and I just love to make people happy.
I want to find a great girl and just make her happy. That's all I want. That alone will make _me_ happy. The fact that she appreciates me for me is more than what I could ask for in return.

So, of those recently interesting girls I mentioned, the only thing that has developed is a stronger relationship (one girl in particular, Julia). I'm not too good at making advances on girls for the simple fact that I normally make sure she's going to like something before I do it. I feel like I'll screw something up if I rely on chance.
After talking with a few of my female friends, it seems that girls want a guy that's not a jerk, but he's not too nice, or else he seems desperate. He needs to be confident but not to the point of being cocky.

I guess what I'm trying to ask is (ladies,)personally, what makes a guy stand out to you? What makes him worth looking twice at? (i know confidence is major, and just being himself is also important.)

And what if you're already friends with him, but don't talk all too much? How should he go about getting your attention?

I know this is a long post, and to anyone that's actually read through it, thank you. To anyone who has an answer, thank you more!! =)

(i recently made a "confession" on grouphug, which pretty much explains my position. available here: )

[This message has been edited by Tripwire (edited 11-06-2005).]

[This message has been edited by Tripwire (edited 11-06-2005).]

[This message has been edited by Tripwire (edited 11-07-2005).]

Posts: 1 | From: Virginia | Registered: Nov 2005  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Scarleteen Volunteer
Member # 139

Icon 1 posted      Profile for DarkChild717     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
What makes a guy stand out to me? Confidence. Truly. You'll also find that every person is different in what they look for in a partner. What I like isn't what my friend looks for.

Also, you might find that once you stop looking hard, things tend to flow right into place.

Life is about taking chances. You have a strong relationship with Julia--so why not take a chance, and ask her on a date? The worst she can say is no.

Posts: 2789 | From: The Evergreen State | Registered: Jun 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator

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