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» Scarleteen Boards: 2000 - 2014 (Archive) » SCARLETEEN CENTRAL » Relationships » What should I do?

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Author Topic: What should I do?
Dallas_Daisy
Neophyte
Member # 25766

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Today is sweetest day and my boyfriend, of a year, knows it and told me he doesnt have a lot of money right now. Im fine with that, but he wants to buy me an 80 dollar sexy dress thats more of a gift for him than $5.00 flowers for me. When we fight its usually about him wanting sex and me not being ready. I feel more like a cheap call girl than respected girlfriend. Im really confused and need advice bad.
Posts: 2 | Registered: Oct 2005  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
The_Guardian
Neophyte
Member # 24491

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quote:
Originally posted by Dallas_Daisy:
Today is sweetest day and my boyfriend, of a year, knows it and told me he doesnt have a lot of money right now. Im fine with that, but he wants to buy me an 80 dollar sexy dress thats more of a gift for him than $5.00 flowers for me. When we fight its usually about him wanting sex and me not being ready. I feel more like a cheap call girl than respected girlfriend. Im really confused and need advice bad.

You need a serious talk with your boyfriend, it is obvious and clear that you feel that you re not ready, and he should absolutely respect that. Telling you that he wants sex is one thing, but nagging about it all the time isn't right.

If he can't accept your position then you should rethink your relationship.

Tell him that you re not ready and let him know that YOU will tell him when you re ready, and he doesn't have to pressure you.


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zeta
Activist
Member # 20185

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Just because he thinks you're sexy doesn't mean he thinks you're cheap. It is possible he just really thinks you're lovely and expressing it the best he can -crudely, as he doesn't have much practice with that sort of thing.

Or he could just be an uncaring bastard out to abuse you. You can figure from whether he's considerate of you otherwise, and just with your gut instinct. If he does not respect you, then ditch him, he'll only ever hurt you. But a guy can be mad about girl sexually and respect her as a person too.

Don't trust relationship conventions, abusive idiots can buy flowers too. Don't worry about the dresses and/or flowers -pay attention to whether he listens to you and is honest to you, whether he respects your boundaries (and do draw them clearly, otherwise he can't know), whether he's there when you need him. If he is, stick to your limits, but don't make him feel rejected or unwanted -communicate.

Of course, if he's not interested in your person then he's not worth the trouble.


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DarkChild717
Scarleteen Volunteer
Member # 139

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Hello. Welcome to scarleteen. Please, in the future, use standard English in your posts--it makes them much easier to read, and you are more likey to get responses quicker. Thanks!

We've got some articles I really think you and your partner should read over. If you are not ready, then you do not have to do anything you don't want to, plain and simple. He needs to respect that.

Safe, Sound…And Sexy!
Ready or Not?


Posts: 2789 | From: The Evergreen State | Registered: Jun 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
   

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