Donate Now
We've Moved! Check out our new boards.
  New Poll  
my profile | directory login | search | faq | forum home

  next oldest topic   next newest topic
» Scarleteen Boards: 2000 - 2014 (Archive) » SCARLETEEN CENTRAL » Relationships » dance

 - UBBFriend: Email this page to someone!    
Author Topic: dance
bobman666
Activist
Member # 25038

Icon 1 posted      Profile for bobman666     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
me nd my girlfriend are going to a dance on friday nd she keeps tellin me dont worry if some random person comes up to either of us nd starts dancin just have a good time but this dance is like a regular teenage dance full of grinding and dances like tht nd im not rele into the concept of some other guy grinding on my gf. i told her but she said as long as it doesnt get too bad its fine. she says from the front is bad but havin a girls *** on u isnt. am i crazy? should i b concerned or should i just go nd have a good time?
Posts: 60 | Registered: Aug 2005  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
faifai
Scarleteen Volunteer
Member # 17971

Icon 1 posted      Profile for faifai     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
Well, you clearly seem like you wouldn't "have a good time" even if you did go. If dances aren't your thing, then you have no reason to go. Maybe you and your girlfriend could make it a date night instead?

As for the grinding/freaking/whatever "dancing", I would be more than a little annoyed if I saw my partner getting vertically intimate with some stranger. Then again, I've been with my partner for a very long time and we're in a very, very monogamous relationship. I expect no sexual contact with other people while we're together, and I consider grinding on someone else's clothed genitals to be sexual. Maybe your definition is different.

Also, if your relationship is relatively new, or you aren't in a monogamous relationship, that may have something to do with it. If you previously indicated this dance would be fine with you, then she may be feeling confused as to why you're not ok with it anymore.

Basically, you need to talk to her and tell her what you feel. If she wants to dance with other people anyway, then it's your call, we can't tell whether you're comfortable with the situation or not. Just remember that if you do say you're ok with it and you're actually not, you may end up causing some damage to your relationship and resent her, when she is thinking she didn't do anything to deserve that.


Posts: 640 | From: The Valley of the Sun, AZ, USA | Registered: May 2004  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
PERVasive
Activist
Member # 25065

Icon 1 posted      Profile for PERVasive     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
It sounds like you and your girlfriend aren't really on the same wavelength about this. Neither of you is really right, but you need to talk about this. Otherwise you'll end up feeling jealous and possibly a bit unloved or lacking in intimacy, and she'll end up feeling like you're trying to be too controlling. Good luck with the conversation! I hope things work out for you.

------------------
- PERVasive

"Don't let your schooling get in the way of your education." - Mark Twain


Posts: 64 | From: Boston, MA | Registered: Aug 2005  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
DarkChild717
Scarleteen Volunteer
Member # 139

Icon 1 posted      Profile for DarkChild717     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
Welcome to Scarleteen, bobman.

School dances are not all bumping and grinding. Actually, I don't think that's very fun. When I dance with my SO, we actually dance. Swing, usually.

If you don't want someone else dancing like that with your girlfriend, avoid the big conglomeration that will form near the DJ. STay near the edges. You can hear the music fine, I promise.

Also, in the future, could you please post in standard English? It's just a courtesy, seeing as many of our users don't speak English as their first language. Thanks.


Posts: 2789 | From: The Evergreen State | Registered: Jun 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
platinumbbabi
Activist
Member # 23350

Icon 1 posted      Profile for platinumbbabi     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
I don't noe about you but I wouldn't be too happy with idea of my gf dancing with other guys at this dance. But only because its like you say, its not innocent dancing. Basically the way most teenagers dance (not all but most) the guy basically stands there nd the girl will rub her as* on him. This is something that I call ''giving dubs'' and if ur familiar with it...you noe it can get pretty freaky. So u really need to discuss what kind of boundaries you would both feel comfortable with or just do something (another event) else for the night.

This isn't the 1st time ur gf has mentioned some strange stuff. She wanted to let u noe that u guys would be breaking up in the future too. How would she noe that?...my advice to u bobman is to really sit down with girl nd converse about everything. Maybe she's tryin to give u a hint that she wants to see other people or maybe she's just scared to really get close to u...these are all things that NEED to be discussed bcuz communication is number ONE in any relationship.


Posts: 50 | From: Brooklyn, New York, U.S. | Registered: May 2005  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
sublime_15
Activist
Member # 12538

Icon 1 posted      Profile for sublime_15     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
quote:
Originally posted by DarkChild717:
School dances are not all bumping and grinding.

Wow I wish it was that way at my school. It is so bad, I went to one dance freshmen year and I said I was done. Freak dancing, guys on the floor with girls on top of them in short dresses. Girls up against walls and sometimes on tables. I thought that prom would be different you know cus its FORMAL oh no, girls dressed like lil-kim at a music show and even worse dancing. Yeah there are teachers there but theres nothing they can do about it.

Tell your girlfriend that you will not tolerate that behavoir and if she wants to rub up on some guys package all night she can do it while being single. I mean its pretty much dry sex now these days.


Posts: 280 | From: nowhere | Registered: Apr 2003  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
PERVasive
Activist
Member # 25065

Icon 1 posted      Profile for PERVasive     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
quote:
I mean its pretty much dry sex now these days.

Not only that, I've seen kids actually having intercourse or oral sex at my school's dances. It's pretty disgusting, the promiscuity and immodesty of it all.

------------------
- PERVasive

"Don't let your schooling get in the way of your education." - Mark Twain


Posts: 64 | From: Boston, MA | Registered: Aug 2005  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
   

  New Poll   Close Topic   Feature Topic   Move Topic   Delete Topic next oldest topic   next newest topic
 - Printer-friendly view of this topic
Hop To:


Contact Us | Get the Whole Story! Go Home to SCARLETEEN: Sex Ed for the Real World | Privacy Statement

Copyright 1998, 2014 Heather Corinna/Scarleteen
Scarleteen.com: Providing comprehensive sex education online to teens and young adults worldwide since 1998

Information on this site is provided for educational purposes. It is not meant to and cannot substitute for advice or care provided by an in-person medical professional. The information contained herein is not meant to be used to diagnose or treat a health problem or disease, or for prescribing any medication. You should always consult your own healthcare provider if you have a health problem or medical condition.

Powered by UBB.classic™ 6.7.3