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» Scarleteen Boards: 2000 - 2014 (Archive) » SCARLETEEN CENTRAL » Relationships » He's 21 and never had a girlfriend

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Author Topic: He's 21 and never had a girlfriend
Member # 21979

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I'm really good friends with this one guy. We've known each other for 2+ years. A year ago I randomly asked him out, but he said no and that he didn't want to date at the time. I accepted it. We were still friends afterwards.

He has always been calling me but for the last couple of months, he calls me every day without fail. Sometimes it's multiple times a day. Yesterday I clocked over 2 hours with him on the phone. He's already called me twice today. I don't know what to do with him.

Like I said in the title, he's 21 and never, ever had a girlfriend before. Not even a measly puppylove relationship in high school that lasts 1 week. His relationship experience and girl experience is NOTHING. He's really sensitive with this stuff and I'm worried what will happen if I ask him "what he wants." I don't want to scare him away....yet, I want to know.

There's no way I'm going to try asking him out again. He got one chance. If he wants to date me, he needs to get the backbone to tell me. I don't want to get rejected twice by him. Otherwise, I don't know why he has to call ME. He has plenty of other friends and tons of cousins that are his age that live here in the city.

What to do? Thanks~

Posts: 5 | Registered: Feb 2005  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Member # 1386

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Some guys are just late developers. I know I was. Why not ask him?

I do not feel obliged to believe that the same God who has endowed us with sense, reason, and intellect has intended us to forgo their use.

- Galileo

Posts: 3442 | From: Stirling, Ontario, Canada | Registered: Sep 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Scarleteen Volunteer
Member # 94

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You know, it's not all that unusual for a person to have not had a relationship at 21. It may not be what happens with most people, but there are still plenty of people in this fellow's situation. The media, movies and books usually make out that most people have their first relationship in high school, and that people who don't... well, they are basically made out not to exist, which does not reflect reality, but can make people rather touchy if they're inexperienced in the relationship department. This can be even more complicated, if one is inexperienced, but for healthy reasons of their own, wants to be single during a particular period.

If you really like this fellow, perhaps let him know that you're still interested. If he still says he's not, then tell him what you've told us: that you're not going to ask again, and that if he changes his mind, the impetus is on him to make a move (and it might be good to add that you'll go on being friends with him whatever happens).

Posts: 2710 | From: Australia | Registered: Jun 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator

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