Donate Now
Post New Topic  New Poll  Post A Reply
my profile | directory login | register | search | faq | forum home

  next oldest topic   next newest topic
» Got Questions? Get Answers. » SCARLETEEN CENTRAL » Relationships » He's 21 and never had a girlfriend

 - UBBFriend: Email this page to someone!    
Author Topic: He's 21 and never had a girlfriend
Einsamkeit
Neophyte
Member # 21979

Icon 1 posted      Profile for Einsamkeit     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
I'm really good friends with this one guy. We've known each other for 2+ years. A year ago I randomly asked him out, but he said no and that he didn't want to date at the time. I accepted it. We were still friends afterwards.

He has always been calling me but for the last couple of months, he calls me every day without fail. Sometimes it's multiple times a day. Yesterday I clocked over 2 hours with him on the phone. He's already called me twice today. I don't know what to do with him.

Like I said in the title, he's 21 and never, ever had a girlfriend before. Not even a measly puppylove relationship in high school that lasts 1 week. His relationship experience and girl experience is NOTHING. He's really sensitive with this stuff and I'm worried what will happen if I ask him "what he wants." I don't want to scare him away....yet, I want to know.

There's no way I'm going to try asking him out again. He got one chance. If he wants to date me, he needs to get the backbone to tell me. I don't want to get rejected twice by him. Otherwise, I don't know why he has to call ME. He has plenty of other friends and tons of cousins that are his age that live here in the city.

What to do? Thanks~


Posts: 5 | Registered: Feb 2005  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Bobolink
Activist
Member # 1386

Icon 1 posted      Profile for Bobolink         Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
Some guys are just late developers. I know I was. Why not ask him?

------------------
I do not feel obliged to believe that the same God who has endowed us with sense, reason, and intellect has intended us to forgo their use.

- Galileo


Posts: 3442 | From: Stirling, Ontario, Canada | Registered: Sep 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Beppie
Scarleteen Volunteer
Member # 94

Icon 1 posted      Profile for Beppie     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
You know, it's not all that unusual for a person to have not had a relationship at 21. It may not be what happens with most people, but there are still plenty of people in this fellow's situation. The media, movies and books usually make out that most people have their first relationship in high school, and that people who don't... well, they are basically made out not to exist, which does not reflect reality, but can make people rather touchy if they're inexperienced in the relationship department. This can be even more complicated, if one is inexperienced, but for healthy reasons of their own, wants to be single during a particular period.

If you really like this fellow, perhaps let him know that you're still interested. If he still says he's not, then tell him what you've told us: that you're not going to ask again, and that if he changes his mind, the impetus is on him to make a move (and it might be good to add that you'll go on being friends with him whatever happens).


Posts: 2710 | From: Australia | Registered: Jun 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
   

Quick Reply
Message:

HTML is not enabled.
UBB Code™ is enabled.

Instant Graemlins
   


Post New Topic  New Poll  Post A Reply Close Topic   Feature Topic   Move Topic   Delete Topic next oldest topic   next newest topic
 - Printer-friendly view of this topic
Hop To:


Contact Us | Get the Whole Story! Go Home to SCARLETEEN: Sex Ed for the Real World | Privacy Statement

Copyright 1998, 2014 Heather Corinna/Scarleteen
Scarleteen.com: Providing comprehensive sex education online to teens and young adults worldwide since 1998

Information on this site is provided for educational purposes. It is not meant to and cannot substitute for advice or care provided by an in-person medical professional. The information contained herein is not meant to be used to diagnose or treat a health problem or disease, or for prescribing any medication. You should always consult your own healthcare provider if you have a health problem or medical condition.

Powered by UBB.classic™ 6.7.3