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» Scarleteen Boards: 2000 - 2014 (Archive) » SCARLETEEN CENTRAL » Relationships » Love or lust?

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Author Topic: Love or lust?
Raven8004
Neophyte
Member # 25529

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I am 14 and my girlfriend amanda, we just kissed for the first time today it was allright...but I am worried if I am only attracted physically to her, or if I accutally love her.Everytime I see her my head spins, I love how she talks I like everything about her.I met her through my friend.I like being with her, and when I see her I like joke around and are never serious. The way I met her was my friend told her about me and I asked her out without even knowing her or what she looked like.But, when she came over I fell in love I think. I was astonished by her beauty.

Do you think this is love or lust? I really need to know I am really confused.If you need more info to determine just ask I will be on the boards for another hour or so.


Posts: 3 | From: missouri city, texas usa | Registered: Sep 2005  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Cactus9
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How long have you two been going out?

If it's only been for a short while (a couple of months), then it's more of an intrigue than lust or love. You're discovering someone new, and it's exciting.

Lust is purely physical, by the way. Love, however, is harder to define. It's different for everyone, but the underlying principle is that you care enough for someone to work things out, difficult things especially.

You've outlined your question, and you're the only one who can answer it yourself. If you merely see her because she's hot and kisses well, you're lusting after her. If you enjoy being around her because of her personality and other intangible (not visible) qualities, then you like her for who she is, which is one path to love.

I'm not saying that you're not supposed to love at your age or at your point in the relationship, it's actually a personal thing. But if I were you, I'd wait and see if there are any quirks about her that you can't deal with eventually, after the initial "honeymoon" phase of the relationship is over and its more routine.

[This message has been edited by Cactus9 (edited 09-28-2005).]


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Raven8004
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Member # 25529

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We have known each other for about 4 weeks, and have been going out for about 2.I am just really confused because she says she loves me...I just don't know. I enjoy being around her because she is very interesting, and she thinks I am too.She says I am so funny, becuase I am allways doing stupid things around her, and our friends.Because, we usualy hang out with our friends. I love her personallity she is interesting and uniqe, a little bit weird sometimes but, I can get over that cause I am a little bit weird sometimes.She trys to be someone different from everyone else, and that is one of the main reasons I like her as much as I do.

[This message has been edited by Raven8004 (edited 09-28-2005).]


Posts: 3 | From: missouri city, texas usa | Registered: Sep 2005  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Cactus9
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In my experience, it's just best to let time answer the question. Let things flow and you'll know the answer eventually.

It sounds like crap, I know. I had the same issue with my ex, and it kept me up some nights.

One thing to keep in mind is to not say "I love you, too" just because she says it. Only do it because you are comfotable saying it.

However, it doesn't sound like lust, but that you genuinely like her.


Posts: 86 | From: USA | Registered: Mar 2005  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
   

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