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» Scarleteen Boards: 2000 - 2014 (Archive) » SCARLETEEN CENTRAL » Relationships » My poor ex

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Author Topic: My poor ex
CEC523
Activist
Member # 23120

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My boyfriend - well, ex now - and I just ended our relationship on the 9th. The only problem is that he wants to get back together and he doesn't realize that it isn't going to happen. We pretty much tore our relationship apart with the fight we had the night we broke up and it would be an incredible amount of work to put it back together again. And seeing as I'm leaving for college in September and we weren't going to stay together anyway, I don't see the point. This is everything I've been telling him and he keeps telling me he doesn't understand.

What he doesn't know is that I've met someone else and even though it's very fast after my relationship ended, I really like this new guy. I guess my question is should I tell my ex I've met someone new? I wanted to avoid it because I don't want to hurt him, but I think it would finally click in his mind that we're not getting back together if he thought I had already moved on.

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"Talking about music is like talking about sex. Can you describe it?"
-Bruce Springsteen


Posts: 124 | From: New York, NY | Registered: Apr 2005  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Heather
Executive Director & Founder
Member # 3

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In all honesty, it isn't likely to help: that wasn't even ten DAYS ago. Knowing you're with someone else both IS going to be very hurtful and as well, he'll be easily able to write it off as a rebound -- whether it is or it isn't -- given how soon this started after your breakup.

Better bet? Tell him you need some time apart from him, even platonically. Ask him not to call you for a month or two. Give him time to himself to heal. Expecting him to be over it so soon is expecting an awful lot: there's no "finally" in this scenario, y'all have JUST spilt up.

Now, if he's still doing this six months from now, that's another story. But nine days later? That's a fresh, fresh wound.

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Heather Corinna
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Posts: 68290 | From: An island near Seattle | Registered: May 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
   

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