Donate Now
We've Moved! Check out our new boards.
  New Poll  
my profile | directory login | search | faq | forum home

  next oldest topic   next newest topic
» Scarleteen Boards: 2000 - 2014 (Archive) » SCARLETEEN CENTRAL » Relationships » willing to change?

 - UBBFriend: Email this page to someone!    
Author Topic: willing to change?
fuchsia0flower
Neophyte
Member # 19971

Icon 1 posted      Profile for fuchsia0flower     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
The guy I've been dating for about a month has 2 extremes. Sometimes he's so nice to me, and sometimes he'll just say things that hurt me without thinking first.

For example, I was going to visit him at work and when I called him to say that he was all "No, I don't want you to come, you'll be clingy." which really hurt me. I mean, he could've said it in a tactful way without hurting me! But when he's nice, it just makes my heart melt.

I think the problem arises from the fact that he's never had a gf before, even though he's 21. For the past 2 years he's just been fooling around with girls meaninglessly until I came along. He just can't seem to be able to put himself into other peoples' shoes and think "If I do/say this, how will that affect the person's feelings?".

I tell him whenever he's hurt me and he apologizes. I think he's sincere when he tells me that he likes me and would be devastated if he lost me and says he wants to change and be considerate and respectful. I don't want him to change into something he's not, but that's a good change! If only everyone would think that way, the world would be a better place.

But I can't keep feeling hurt and angry at him, because that makes me want to hurt him back and that's now how I want to live my life...How many chances can I give this guy? I think if it works out in the end itd be worth it.


Posts: 19 | Registered: Sep 2004  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
DarkChild717
Scarleteen Volunteer
Member # 139

Icon 1 posted      Profile for DarkChild717     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
You're going to have to draw a line somewhere. Because you're right--you can't keep feeling hurt and angry at him. That's no way to have a relationship.

It takes a long time to change set behaviors, if it happens at all. But part of a relationship is accepting all parts of that person, good, bad, or otherwise. Are you prepared to do this? From your post, I think not.

As talking does not have seemed to help, I'd say draw a line. If he can't stop insulting you, than you're going to find someone who will.


Posts: 2789 | From: The Evergreen State | Registered: Jun 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
   

  New Poll   Close Topic   Feature Topic   Move Topic   Delete Topic next oldest topic   next newest topic
 - Printer-friendly view of this topic
Hop To:


Contact Us | Get the Whole Story! Go Home to SCARLETEEN: Sex Ed for the Real World | Privacy Statement

Copyright 1998, 2014 Heather Corinna/Scarleteen
Scarleteen.com: Providing comprehensive sex education online to teens and young adults worldwide since 1998

Information on this site is provided for educational purposes. It is not meant to and cannot substitute for advice or care provided by an in-person medical professional. The information contained herein is not meant to be used to diagnose or treat a health problem or disease, or for prescribing any medication. You should always consult your own healthcare provider if you have a health problem or medical condition.

Powered by UBB.classic™ 6.7.3