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» Scarleteen Boards: 2000 - 2014 (Archive) » SCARLETEEN CENTRAL » Relationships » best friend/ odd family crush

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Author Topic: best friend/ odd family crush
emily strange
Neophyte
Member # 13476

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ok, so i have this best friend who i totally adore and is fabulous. her step brother and i have a thing, in the sense that we had a relationship but it didnt work out so now hes like the only person i feel totally comfortable with and we can just sit in silence and chill, i really have a soft spot for him and now and again we get it on and its like coming home. but anyway, ive kissed her ex boyfriend and also have experimented with her, as in we've gotten it on but i realized that it wasnt for me and that i like men.anyway recently her sister who i get on really well with told me that she is a lesbian, and i breifly thought about kissing/getting it on with her, and this prompted me to ask myself if it is her i like or is it just the fact that i have a mini non lesbian crush on my best friend, ie i want to get it on with eveyone she knows?
a bit messed up i know but any budding psycologists want to analyse it?????????????

Posts: 12 | From: England | Registered: Jun 2003  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Heather
Executive Director & Founder
Member # 3

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HALT.

Let me share with you a VERY wise golden rule, and it is this: one family member per customer. ONLY.

In other words, no. It is neither sound nor kind to literally put your fingers in every member of a family, because when it all comes to light -- and it always does -- it really can mess up their relationships, which they don't get to just walk away from like you can, and that is seriously uncool.

It is developmentally normal for young adults to be less selective about sexual partners than their older counterparts. It is. It is also normal to be unsure how to deal with boundaries and where to make them. It is ALSO normal to try and stay within a certain comfort zone with people you know you're comfy with. Sounds like you've got all of this stuff going on right now.

But you're crafting a Jerry Springer episode here, and one that is really unkind and inconsiderate to the whole family. Flatly, at this point, I'd suggest you date (and have sex) elsewhere entirely. Because really, I think you may well be looking for an arena to explore sexuality in that feels safe and "home-like" to YOU, but it's destructive for everyone else, and likely to end up with you having NO relationship, even friendships, with any of these folks.

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Heather Corinna
Editor & Founder
ST homepage ST blog about Heather & Scarleteen


Posts: 68290 | From: An island near Seattle | Registered: May 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
   

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