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» Scarleteen Boards: 2000 - 2014 (Archive) » SCARLETEEN CENTRAL » Relationships » I love my man, but....

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Author Topic: I love my man, but....
MadLittleGirl
Neophyte
Member # 25213

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I Love my man. We been together for a long time. His family didn't like me and mine didn't really like him when we first got together but we worked though it. We have a little girl together and worked our butts off to move out and finish high school and now trying to go to college.After putting up with all this I want to get married is that so bad to ask from him. He wants to wait and wait but come on I can't wait forever. I want to tell him that I don't want to wait anymore and we should see other people. I love my bf, but I am tried of waiting.

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As you get older life gets harder


Posts: 22 | From: Somewhere in Tx | Registered: Sep 2005  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
DarkChild717
Scarleteen Volunteer
Member # 139

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Tell him how you feel. Communication is the key to a good relationship. If you can't tell him this now, will you be able to communicate years down the road?

Secondly, do you have a stable support system for you and your daughter, should you decide to move on? Is her health care and well being taken care of? That is also something to consider.


Posts: 2789 | From: The Evergreen State | Registered: Jun 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
MadLittleGirl
Neophyte
Member # 25213

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I have talked to him and he just says I am not ready. Come on 4 years and a one year old baby. We had talked about this long time ago and he said he would still help supporting us we would live together till we both get on our feet but he will have to sleep on the sofa.

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As you get older life gets harder


Posts: 22 | From: Somewhere in Tx | Registered: Sep 2005  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Heather
Executive Director & Founder
Member # 3

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Well, it isn't his place to assess YOUR readiness: he's your partner, not your parent.

So, this time, how about talking again, making clear that what's relevant is how HE feels, not how he assesses you.

Mind you, I think in redirecting this unto you, he IS saying -- albiet, not openly and clearly like a mature person -- that HE either isn't ready or interested, and if that's the case, then you simply have to make your choices accordingly. However, that really needs be discussed, per what HE wants or doesn't.

(And mind you, someone who once felt something was a good idea or something they wanted may since have changed their minds.)


Posts: 68290 | From: An island near Seattle | Registered: May 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
celery
Activist
Member # 5594

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Just a thought, WHY exactly do you need to get married now? Sure you love eachother but reallly, what is it going to change? It won't change the way you feel about eachother so why push it?
If you have plans to marry in the future then what is the point in pushing it?
I've always really just thought of marriage as a piece of paper so thats my opinion, just thought you might want to give it some thought.

Posts: 1000 | From: Canada | Registered: Oct 2001  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
   

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