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» Scarleteen Boards: 2000 - 2014 (Archive) » SCARLETEEN CENTRAL » Relationships » Does He Still Care?

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Author Topic: Does He Still Care?
Member # 21320

Icon 1 posted      Profile for PuNkYeGg     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
Ive been with my boyfriend for almost two months now...i think i really love him and i am...or was sure that he loved me. Lately hes been acting really distant, like if i wanna see him i have to call him, or go round for him, he never makes an effort. Also people have been noticing that he flirts alot, i mean, i flirt too and im not really botherd but he doesnt seem to care about my feelings. Like he can kiss his girl friends but if i kiss my guy mates he gets mad. He always tries to make me gelous by showing me people hes been out with and stuff. Also, when hes on his own or with certain people hes an angel and is so nice...yet when his guy friends are there he acts all tough, slagging and hitting me.. i cant really talk to him about it cause he will take it like i hate him and stuff... also, i have this nagging feeling in the back of my mind that he might just be using me for things....if you get my drift, Im not into stuff like that yet but its really confused, any help would..umm help i guess, thanks ! xx
Posts: 97 | From: Uk | Registered: Dec 2004  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Member # 25213

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PUNKYeGg HE IS ACTING LIKE A GUY. Some guys are like that. Tell him to grow up.

As you get older life gets harder

Posts: 22 | From: Somewhere in Tx | Registered: Sep 2005  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Executive Director & Founder
Member # 3

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...and if a woman was behaving in the same way, would she be acting like a guy, too? And what about all the men who DON'T behave in this way: are they not male?

Hint: we're not cool with gender stereotyping here. Not regarding women, not regarding men. Not only is it often incredibly inaccurate and unhelpfull, it's insulting to everyone.

Punk: you know, it's been a BIG parade of partners for you at a young age. You've also recently posted that you, too, may have interest in others. That's all normal enough: but deep relationships take time to develop, even at the advanced pace plenty of teen relationships take. I've suggested this to you before, so just fopr kicks, I will again: might be wise to slow down with the relationships a little, take a break to be ON YOUR OWN.

That said, what you do in a sitch like this is talk to your boyfriend: bring up the double standards, make clear you feel they're unfair (and you're right, they are) and that what's good for the goose also needs be good for the gander. I'd also bring up that trying to make you jealous is both hurtful and not conducive to a sound, healthy relationship.

But if you CAN'T have a discussion as simple as this -- and you've been in this spot with partner before, unable to feel you can have normal, fair discussions you need to have because of fear of a partner's reaction, mostly due to a lack of maturity on their part -- then this isn't a relationship worth having, nor one where one or both parties are really ready to be having one.

Heather Corinna
Editor & Founder
ST homepage ST blog about Heather & Scarleteen

Posts: 68290 | From: An island near Seattle | Registered: May 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator

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