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» Scarleteen Boards: 2000 - 2014 (Archive) » SCARLETEEN CENTRAL » Relationships » Confused......what to do???

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Author Topic: Confused......what to do???
SOMEBODY
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Member # 17368

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Hey everyone!
As you all may have read my posts in the past, I have a bf and have been with him for almost 6 months now. Well let me get right to the point,,,,me and one of my guy friends have been flirty and he has gotten to the point of telling me that he has feelings for me. I dont know what to do because I really like my bf and I have been cheating on him with my friend. I go out with my 'friend' once a week, and I have to LIE to my bf telling him im going out with my girls. I dont know what to do because I have been leading my 'friend' on and telling him that I like him also when really, I dont. I dont like the fact that he has a 6 year old son alreasy and has his baby momma. I think that I deserve better than that, and my happiness is with my bf. I have cried because of how bad I feel that I have cheated on my bf...but theres really nothing I can do anymore. I didnt get intimate or anything with my 'friend' but I did kiss with him. I could not EVER tell my bf what I did because I know that I would lose him, and I dont want that. My bf is such a sweet loving and caring guy and someone that I would want to be with for the rest of my life....but I guess the temptation caught to me and thats why I did what I did. Now, I dont know how to get my friend off my back. He knows that I have my bf and I have told him how bad I feel for what I have done, and he tells me that if I want us to stop talking so that I can see what I want....but I feel bad on doing that because I am used to talking to him and wouldnt want to stop talking to him cuz hes a nice guy. But I dont want to keep doing this to my bf or keep on leading my friend on because I wouldnt want him falling in love with him and then having to break his heart. I just feel SOOOOO BAD that I cheated on my bf. I have never been unfaithful and it feels awful. I just need some input of what you girls think about this. I need help and advice on getting my mind straight. I cant lose my bf, hes the sweetest guy ive ever met,,,,and I know that he would NEVER do something like I did. WHat do you guys think I should do? what should I tell my friend?? Is it better is I be straight up with him and tell him that I dont want to keep on doing this and that I love my man? Thank you all so much for any replies!!!

Posts: 129 | Registered: Mar 2004  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
LilBlueSmurf
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There actually is a VERY simple solution to all of this ...

BE HONEST ... w/ your boyfriend and w/ your 'friend'. And be honest w/ yourself.

You need to stop playing w/ these guys ... You're saying you deserve better than this (whatever 'this' is), but don't you think they deserve better than being cheated on and lied to?

My advice - Leave both of them. You admitted that you don't like your boyfriend, so why are you dragging him along while you have fun on the side? It's not fair, and you know that. As for the 'friend' ... You also said you don't like him either. Why do you keep these guys around when you don't even like them?


Posts: 7168 | From: Ontario | Registered: Sep 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
SOMEBODY
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The thing is that I do like my man!!! I cant be without him and I really like him. The guy that im not all that into is the one that I cheated on my bf with. I want to be with my bf....and no one else. I think what I need to do is be honest with the 'friend' and tell him how I feel. I cant tell my bf what I did cuz he would hate me forver and he wouldnt want to b with me no more and I do want to be with him.
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LilBlueSmurf
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If you really wanted to be with him, why were you cheating on him? Obviously there must be something missing ...?

You can rationalize this all you want. What you're doing is wrong, and you know that.

If the 'tables were turned', and a partner had cheated on you, would you want to know? Wouldn't you think you deserved to know the truth?

[This message has been edited by LilBlueSmurf (edited 08-22-2005).]


Posts: 7168 | From: Ontario | Registered: Sep 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
gubblebum
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quote:
Originally posted by SOMEBODY:
I cant be without him

This phrase sends up a red flag in my mind, because the key to a successful relationship is the ability to be comfortable on your own first. Love youself and then others can love you too.


Posts: 213 | From: Spain | Registered: Oct 2003  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
   

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