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» Scarleteen Boards: 2000 - 2014 (Archive) » SCARLETEEN CENTRAL » Relationships » do you have days when you feel you feelings are changing, then your ok?

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Author Topic: do you have days when you feel you feelings are changing, then your ok?
sexyheffa
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Im just worried, that my feeling are changing more towards my boyfriend, I get upset when i think we will split. but literally the last couple of days iv been feeling like im not as glad to see him. it may be that im not in too greater mood (got important exam results this thurs) . has anybody else had this for few days then been ok?
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JamsessionVT
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Hormones, periods, there could be a million reasons why you are feeling a little out of whack.

But honestly, what you're describing isn't rare. Especially if you are in the first 6 months or so of a relationship, where most of the bonding and learning happens.

I wouldn't worry too much. If it doesn't blow over, or you feel like this is really having to do w/ your actual feelings towards him, than maybe you can just sit down and have a chat. After all, he is there to support you


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sexyheffa
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havent beel always questioning my feelings, its happened once before 6 months ago which went away after a few days, we had spent loads of time together last few weeks then he went away and i had no contact at all for 11 days, i did miss him! but when i saw him i wasnt at hyper but then im not in the best mood now anyway. i get alevel results tomorrow and im really nervous!
I know i love him, i just need to get the lovey dovey feeling back, it returned fast before. it may be just that im not in an outgoing mood this week

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sexyheffa
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yay,im happy again I knew it was the stress of exam results....I got in to my 1st choice of uni
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sexyheffa
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Hey! its 6 months on and its come back again im am feeling down in general.the mood was v sudden and i wasnt unhappy with my bf before the mood came! it lasted 2weeks last time. is it normal to randomly feel numb from time to time? as i say it has come on without any explanation.he understands tho, i just fear that it wont come back even though i know its happened before and soon went. by the way i dont want to be with other people, its just a sudden numbness. I spoke to my mum and she suggested maybe iv grown apart from him but thats the thing its not gradual, and I know deep down I dont want to split! im so confused! do people in long term r/ships occasionally get this?

[This message has been edited by sexyheffa (edited 01-31-2006).]


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Ecofem
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I would say that occasional ups and downs are a natural part of life: Just see how you're doing to make sure you get help if it seems to stay bad for longer or gets worse. As for it seemingly coming from nowhere? That could be the case, but it's probably a mix of seemingly little things that built up over time that you didn't realize. Such as crappy winter weather right now? Or school stress? Or a tiff with friends?

Ahh, you edited your post since I replied. I thought you meant feeling down in general but I see you mean related to your relationship. Well, it could be the relationship dynamics changing or just you going through a tough period of time. Why not talk to your boyfriend about feeling down lately, that you don't think it's necessarily related to the relationship but is affecting it? See what he says. Your mom might be totally off, but she's a lot closer to your situation than we are so her point might be right now. Ask her for concrete examples.

Have you seen this article about relationships yet? http://www.scarleteen.com/relationships/potholes.html It might not really apply to your situation, but might also provide some general insight?

[This message has been edited by Ecofem (edited 01-31-2006).]


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sexyheffa
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I do feel down, but i didnt before the mood came on. There seems no reason to be unhappy in the r/ship thats just it i dont feel unhappy with him just numb which is making me feel unhappy cos its frustrating!
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oOo Lea oOo
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My feelings for my boyfriend change sometimes too. I love my boyfriend with all of my heart, I want no one else, but sometimes I find myself questioning it. Reading your post made me think about my own relationship. Sometimes I spend way too much time with my boyfriend, which I never thought was possible, but I often think to my self, "I think I need a change." Then I spend time alone away from my boyfriend, trying to figure out if I do need a change, trying to get my feelings together, only realizing that being away from him makes me miss him something terrible. I just got back from a snowboarding trip with my friends. I was away from him Thurs - Mon. I saw him for the first time this morning. The moment he came to my house, and I hugged and kissed him, I knew I had no reason to doubt, or question, because I am SO VERY MUCH inlove with him. Next time your feelings go down and you start to question it, back away, take some time for your self. I'm not promising it will work for you, but it did for me. Just wanted to share my little story. GOOD LUCK!

[This message has been edited by oOo Lea oOo (edited 01-31-2006).]


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Mathilde
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I've been going out with my boyfriend for a year and three months. I will sometimes have these moments where I wonder, "Am I in this for the right reasons?" But as I think about it more, the feeling subsides and I'm happy. I don't get to see my boyfriend but once or twice a week, but I've learned to enjoy the time I do have with him. Sure, we may not have the best conversations when we're not together, but that's not the end of the world.

I would wonder if I felt for him the way I used to. But every time this feeling arises, I remember how I feel when I'm with him and how much I miss him when we're apart.

When he comes to pick me up, I get the old butterflies in my stomach from excitement. It reminds me of how lucky I am to have him. But if you're unhappy, talk with him about it. Think about it.

[This message has been edited by Mathilde (edited 01-31-2006).]


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sexyheffa
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well Iv come to the conclusion no one understands except a couple of people who have felt it and they say its natural every now and again to doubt things no one can be happy every second of the day, i have been very happy untill last week when i came down. Now as im feeling better i dont feel as numb towards my boyfriend, my downess clearly affects my feelings. It is exactly like last time! except this time i told him and he understud. he had the feeling when we both went to uni as though i wasnt part of his life for a week or so.We dont see each other that often (3 nights every 2 weeks) and i do appreciate that. Since before the Christmas hols iv hated it here where i am at uni and that has come down on me alot lately im guessing tensions at the time make my moood change. I just felt numb towards everything the past few days. im glad tho now, its passing! i feel better since i hit rock bottom.
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oOo Lea oOo
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Great! Glad to hear you are feeling better. Its good to realize relationships aren't perfect. Although at times we wish they would be. Its nice to see that your guy understood as well. I think its perfectly normal, and It probably won't be the last time you have ups and downs in your feelings, but next time . . Hopefully you will know how to deal with it and it won't effect you as badly. Good luck!!! And again...Good to hear you are doing better!!
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lotesseflower
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When I feel out-of-love with my boyfriend, I stop and remind myself of all the reasons why I love him. We've been together for three years now, and I think that sometimes familiarity gets the better of me.

I forget to think of all the ways in which he's wonderful, and just consciously recalling them gets me right back into being lovey-dovey.

Glad things are working out with your bf.


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