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» Scarleteen Boards: 2000 - 2014 (Archive) » SCARLETEEN CENTRAL » Relationships » What should I do?

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Author Topic: What should I do?
sweetie87
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Member # 24822

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My boyfriend and I had a really akward moment last night (after the condom broke). At first he seemed angry. He said I needed to the get morning after pill, and he was cursing a lot, but not at me. Then he seemed really distant from me for about an hour. I am afraid that this could break our relationship. I would get the morning after pill, but I don't have any way to get to the clinic for it. I only have four days and then the pill isn't suppose to work. My boyfriend can't take me because he doesn't get off of work before the clinic closes. I am afraid that he will be angry with me when he finds out that I couldn't make it to the clinic for the pill. I am worried that he may think that I am not going just so I can make him stay with me if I get pregnant, but I am not like that at all. I would rather lie to him and tell him that I have already started my period than have him be obligated to stay with me because of a child we're both not ready for.
Posts: 11 | From: Winchester, ID USA | Registered: Aug 2005  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
faifai
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Find some other way to get there. Have a friend you trust take you, ride public transport, walk and then ride public transport...there are a lot of possibilities. Don't let it get to the point of where you're lying about whether you've got your period or not, whether you're pregnant or not. Bottom line is, you can either get the Plan B pill, come hell or high water, or you can play Russian roulette and possibly ruin your partner's trust in you.

You guys had an accident. Accidents happen. Part of being responsible about sex includes being able to deal with the unexpected. If you can't handle this kind of situation responsibly, maybe it's time for you to rethink being sexually active.


Posts: 640 | From: The Valley of the Sun, AZ, USA | Registered: May 2004  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
LilBlueSmurf
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If he's going to flip out everytime this happens, you may want to consider either getting a backup method of birth control or ... just stop having sex w/ him. He obvioulsy can't handle the responsibility.

If at all possible, he needs to get time off work to get your to the clinic. He had his part in this too ... He needs to step up and take some responsibility.


Posts: 7168 | From: Ontario | Registered: Sep 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
sweetie87
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I am handling, that is the problem. Right now I feel as though I am the only one handling it. He is just kind of freaking out. And, I have contacted friends (they can't). Also, there isn't public transportation where I live.
Posts: 11 | From: Winchester, ID USA | Registered: Aug 2005  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
dailicious
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Here's an idea:

Tell him to take time either very early or at the very end of work to take you to a clinic. If he cannot take a couple hours out of his schedual to take you to a clinic to help you prevent a pregnancy, then he certainly wouldn't be able to handle the time or attention it would take if you did become pregnant and went through with the pregnancy.

Tell him if he takes these couple hours, he will not HAVE to freak out so much because you'll be making a responsible decision to deal with an accident that happened.

No birth control is 100% effective; in having sex you both have to realize that and be prepared to deal with what might happen if it does fail. What you're dealing with right now is a lot, so just stay calm and do the best you can. But also realize that if he won't step up to take responsibility and help you with this you should really consider discontinuing this sexual relationship.

Also, if all else fails: talk to your parents. Try to sit them down and explain to them that you were using protection but it was an accident. If you need to confront your parents in order to get the EC you should; because it's either confronting them NOW to get the EC to prevent pregnancy, or the possibility of having to confront them when you ARE pregnant.


Posts: 3382 | From: Denver, Colorado | Registered: Mar 2005  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
LilBlueSmurf
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You shouldn't have to handle this alone.

You may want to reconsider telling your parents. You either tell them now, or you risk having to tell them later that you're pregnant.


Posts: 7168 | From: Ontario | Registered: Sep 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
sweetie87
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Member # 24822

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I thought about talking about it with my parents, but they would completely disown me. I move out of the house in 2 weeks anyway, but that isn't the point. I know how they are, they wouldn't help me they would just tell me that I am a (choice word) and then forget I ever existed. That is pretty much what they did when I was raped and that was rape. This is concentual... It makes it all the worse.
Posts: 11 | From: Winchester, ID USA | Registered: Aug 2005  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
gubblebum
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Walk yourself to the clinic, if neccessary. You can make excuses all you want for why you can't get there, but if you're determined that you can't get pregnant at this point in your life, then you will find a way to get there. Call a cab, ride a bike, have your boyfriend drop you off and walk home, whatever it takes.

Furthermore, you might want to reconsider your relationship with your boyfriend for reasons other than that he got mad when the condom broke. If he can't support you now, in your time of need, then he's probably not the kind of guy you want to turn to for the rest of your life. Perhaps you should remind him that you weren't having sex by yourself last night, because if you were you wouldn't be worried about a pregnancy risk. It takes two.


Posts: 213 | From: Spain | Registered: Oct 2003  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
   

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