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» Scarleteen Boards: 2000 - 2014 (Archive) » SCARLETEEN CENTRAL » Relationships » Jealous Friends over ME?

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Author Topic: Jealous Friends over ME?
Member # 22606

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I waitress at a resturant and one of the cooks (we'll call him BoyA) is/was desparately in love with me. He has told me so several times and has even told me that he could see us getting married and even having kids!! Mind you he is 24 and I am only 18 and haven't even been graduated from high school for 1 month! Not only that but I am not interested in a relationship right now because I will be moving away in 2 months for school and I just don't want any attachments when I leave. He knows all this too, he also knows that I don't care about him the way he cares about me. I love him to death, but I am not IN LOVE with him.

Well for the past couple months I have secretly been hooking up with his best friend (We'll call him BoyB). I know you think about and it sounds so ethically and morally wrong but see my point of view: Me and BoyA were never dating, I have told him several times that we were not going to date, I have warned him that loving me will end up hurting him, and I knew that if I ever just had casual sex with him he would want more than just sex, so we have never slept together. So BoyB comes around and we hook up a few times and everything is fine. I don't tell anyone and he doesn't tell anyone. Well we live in a SMALL town and somehow word got out. Well only a few people knew at first (from talking to people I figured out the order of how word let loose) but someone told BoyA. He got really upset (understandable) but instead of talking to me or BoyB he proceeded to tell EVERYONE I work with! He won't speak to me or even look at me. But instead of feeling bad for him I am really mad. Even if he was upset he had no right to tell everyone my personal business when its none of his own business. What would posess him to do that? Is he that jealous of his (ex?) friend?

Posts: 8 | Registered: Mar 2005  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Member # 3746

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Well, only GuyA can really answer that question. Who knows why he did that. I'm sure he thought he had reason, or maybe he was just mad. What you're seeing here though is a classic example of what happens when people don't communicate.

Really, I don't want to sound mean, but if GuyB was really GuyA's best friend, how in the world did you ever expect to keep all that secret? It just doesn't work like that. Being a guy (and trying not to sound stereotypical), I know that guys can be very gossipy.

You might want to reevaluate your position in all this. You're friends with GuyA, but didn't seem to have any qualms about sleeping with his best friend, an activity that was obviously going to hurt his feelings (or else you wouldn't have kept it secret).

Just some things to think about.

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Posts: 52 | From: Usually somewhere between MI & FL - currently KY | Registered: May 2001  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Member # 24039

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Age doesn't matter my husband's 6 years older then me.
Posts: 9 | From: United States | Registered: Jun 2005  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Gumdrop Girl
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Member # 568

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age wasn't the issue here.

the issue was the choice the original poster made pertaining to who she wanted to hook up with and the ensuing office gossip.

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Posts: 12677 | From: Los Angeles, CA ... somewhere off the 10 | Registered: Jul 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator

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