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» Scarleteen Boards: 2000 - 2014 (Archive) » SCARLETEEN CENTRAL » Relationships » Race relations

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Author Topic: Race relations
La_bratti
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Iím fairly new to this site....itís been eventful to say the least.
I have looked thru several threads and unless I missed it, I havenít come across anything about race relations as far as dating outside of your race is concerned...does that mean its a non issue? Not to say itís good or bad one way or the other. Have you or your friends come into a situation in life or love that you have concerns about? Any general comments?

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SoPrecious
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Funny I just came on this site to post about this topic....I'm white and dating a black person. Recently my mom has been suspecting that I'm dating someone outside my race and she isn't content with it all. She's said some rude comments which were hurtful to me and to my partner. Off course I ddin't admit to her that we are together, I would never see daylight again. However, I do understand where she's coming from, being narrow-minded, and all...but I'm not that type of person. When I look at someone the first thing i notice is not their skin. I'm just really confused, I love my bf, we;ve been together for a year and half but I don't want to disappoint my mom or hurt her in anyway. We've talked about it numerous times and she doesnt understand me and i guess its vice versa. I'm really confused!! helppp
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Gumdrop Girl
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I honestly don't think it's a huge issue in California. There's some hype right now about racial tensions in LA high school, but because those tensions are between black and Latinos, it doesn't get a lot of airtime (apparently racism is only newsworthy when it's white people versus...).

But anyway, CA is pretty diverse, and it's not unusual to date interracially. There are some folks still steeped in the old ways who have problems with it. My parents have some issues with me dating interracially, and the disapproval isn't equal across the board.

My boyfriend is hapa (half-Asian), so if his parents were disapproving of interracial relationships, they'd be hypocrites.

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Posts: 12677 | From: Los Angeles, CA ... somewhere off the 10 | Registered: Jul 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
La_bratti
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I live in small town Ohio...Nothing like Cali Iím sure....I think the people are still stuck in the dark ages here. They make appearances like they are totally accepting of everyone on the surface but if you were able to hear some of the things I have heardÖ..OMG.
HereÖ I only here the term interracial when speaking of Black white couples...and the term "Mixed" and Bi-racial is only used as a description for Black and White offspring..(Iím simplifying).
I have a friend who is Asian and white
(hapa,I guess???) I have never heard the term hapa before...any way she and her siblings call themselves Asian or Asian American not mixed or bi_ racial. Why is it that in these days the main controversy is still black and white? Is this ever going to change?

[This message has been edited by La_bratti (edited 06-06-2005).]


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Gumdrop Girl
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I assure you, the problem isn't just black and white. it's all colors with all the other colors. Well, everyone knows it's not cool to judge folks by the color of their skins. but due to inexperience and just social ignorance, people get these ideas engrained into their heads that certain people who look like X will act like Y. This is what's so dangerous about stereotyping. Just because a stereotype is true about some folks doesn't mean it's right to cast that on all the people who sort of look like them.

For example, negative stereotypes about black people make some folks uncomfortable in their presence. This is as simple as crossing the street to avoid passing a black man on the sidewalk.

These deeply set fears translate into disapproval of interracial couples. It becomes an US versus THEM sort of issue. When your family or friends or whoever identify you as part of US, and they see you're with THEM, then they're going to be skeptical. To change this, you have to prove that your partner belongs as part of US. On a broader scale, if we could convince the world that the entire human race comprises US, then there would be no THEM to scorn.

Another common reason for disapproving of interracial relationships (and intercultural ones, too) is the fear of "selling out" or of becoming like THEM. I grew up in a white town, and as a kid my parents really made sure I kept close to our cultural roots. We didn't speak English at home, we drove two hours to the nearest Buddhist temple. My mother was so deathly afraid I would turn out Americanized and forget "who I was." And if I got too close to a white boy, maybe I'd turn white too There's a similar problem among African Americans who resist things that are associated with White America. In this (misguided) line of thinking, going out with a white person (or whatever color) is selling out your brothers. And let's not even get into the idea of "racial purity" as that's a common one you hear from Klansmen on Jerry Springer. So it's not just fearing THEM, it's a protection of your own identity as a member of such and such race.

it's bollocks, though. i didn't turn white because i went out with a WASP for 3 years.

Anyway, as for terminology, interracial is a pretty literal term. It's not just black and white, it's any mix of groups. It just so happens that in certain parts of the world, black and white are the majority of what you see. In CA, we have a lot of Latinos and Asians as well as black and whites, so the effect is a lot more visible out here.

As for mixed ethnicity, the term "hapa" is a term specifically meaning half-Asian. it's Hawaiian for "half" some specify that the other half is white, but others just say it's Asian plus whatever. It's a popular term in Asian circles, and I think it needs to catch on, so spread the word Another popular term is Amerasian or Eurasian, but frankly I hate those words. I like "hapa," it's cute.

Sometimes, when a person is of mixed ethnicity, they prefer to identify with one side or the other. So if someone is half-Asian, half-white, sometimes they'll just identify as Asian. Or half-black, half-white, they'll say they're black. Other folks really grab onto their heritage and get really into their roots and identify as both.

------------------
LA County STD Hotline 1.800.758.0880
Toll free STD and clinic information, and condoms sent to your door for Los Angeles County residents.
1 in 3 sexually active people will be exposed to a STD by the time they turn 24.


Posts: 12677 | From: Los Angeles, CA ... somewhere off the 10 | Registered: Jul 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Cactus9
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I agree with Gumdrop_Girl. It's only a problem to people with closed minds.

I'm 100% Chinese but was born in America. Yet, I'm currently dating a white female. My parents have no problem with skin color, they only look at the important traits, the ones inside. To them, they like intelligence. They see that in her and her parents don't seem to hate me, as I'm over at her house quite often. Often times, I just make fun of the race card and everyone knows I mean nothing by it. The only time I think of race between my g/f and me is when a question like this comes up. I only see her.

In the end, people just fear difference.


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coley0421
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Im a white girl who has been dating an Arab guy for about 2 years now...His mom is white and his dad is arab. when his mom found out that i was a white american she freaked out because she wants the arab culture to stay in there family. but i guess i just dont understand how she can hate me when she is white american also. i guess i can kinda see where shes coming from i just think a lot of people want to keep that culture with there family. Most people are afriad of change


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La_bratti
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quote:
Originally posted by coley0421:
Im a white girl who has been dating an Arab guy for about 2 years now...His mom is white and his dad is arab. when his mom found out that i was a white american she freaked out because she wants the arab culture to stay in there family. but i guess i just dont understand how she can hate me when she is white american also. i guess i can kinda see where shes coming from i just think a lot of people want to keep that culture with there family. Most people are afriad of change


Iím just curious to know is your boyfriendsí mom A Caucasian American or simply white skinned person?(not WASP)The reason I ask is because I have seen and heard other "mixed" families who clearly state a preference of one or the other...makes no real since to me but I have seen this.


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morganlh85
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I'm multiracial myself, and I'm all for interracial dating. After all, it's my view that when you date a person, you are dating that person, not their entire race or ethnicity, so it shouldn't be an issue. Some people say they shouldn't date because they have no idea about the other race's background or struggles or traditions, etc. But to me that's like saying a poor person can't date a rich person, or a person from Cali can't date a person from New York, just because they grew up differently or have different customs or histories. It's ridiculous if you ask me. A person falls in love with a person, not his/her family, race, ethnicity, country of origin, or history book. And in the end, what better way to learn about other cultures and people and lifestyles than to date outside your race? Why limit yourself to only one type of experience or existence?

[This message has been edited by morganlh85 (edited 06-08-2005).]


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ceresbaistat
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Personally, I've never understood why anyone cares about anything concerning skin color. Skin us and we all look the same. If you want to keep your culture in the family, make sure it's clear to whoever you're with.

Honestly, it's not like people that look different are evil or anything...

P.S. My opinions might be simply based on the fact that my town is thuroughly racially mixed (and blended in several cases). People just never seem to care here.


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La_bratti
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quote:
Originally posted by tinyrebel:
Personally, I've never understood why anyone cares about anything concerning skin color. Skin us and we all look the same. If you want to keep your culture in the family, make sure it's clear to whoever you're with.

Honestly, it's not like people that look different are evil or anything...

P.S. My opinions might be simply based on the fact that my town is thuroughly racially mixed (and blended in several cases). People just never seem to care here.


I think thatís great, if only the world was so idealistic. I see a lot of cultural mixing in my area...we are a "mixed" family as well. Unfortunately the problem here are the things that are not so openly said....or seen. In my eyes that where you can see the true reflection of our communtiy. Maybe Im wrong but I dont think my small town in Ohio is so diffrent than suburbia anywhere USA...If Im totally wrong and the rest of the country "gets it"....I need to move! I have known and heard so many stories of people being disowned by family members because of relationships they have had...I know kids who donít know their grandparents, aunts and uncles because of the color of their skin....so much more and so much worse. And generally speaking I live in a nice area...nice town...with nice people. Who like my earlier post said... gives the impression of being so totally accepting of diff people and diff life styles...but deep down I think itís just a farce!
(Maybe Iím bitter)

[This message has been edited by La_bratti (edited 06-14-2005).]


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