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» Scarleteen Boards: 2000 - 2014 (Archive) » SCARLETEEN CENTRAL » Relationships » Too young?

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Author Topic: Too young?
mini_minx
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Hi,

My boyfriend is 18 and he's told me that next year after we move in together he wants to marry me. Not straight away, but soon(ish). He's given me a promise ring, but I was just wondering, do you think a 18 year old boy can really be ready to settle down and get married? There are things in his past that made him grow up a lot quicker than other boys, but what do u think??


any replies gratefully recieved


Posts: 88 | From: England | Registered: Dec 2002  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
coley0421
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Im 18 and a girl and i believe that im pretty matture and im not even ready to get married. I dated a guy that was 4 1/2 years older then me for two years and those two years were great but after a while you might lose something between you two and in about a year or so you might change your mind about the whole marriage thing. So my advice would be to just think about it and take your time. Marriage isnt something to rush into.

[This message has been edited by coley0421 (edited 06-06-2005).]


Posts: 5 | From: Minnesota USA | Registered: Jun 2005  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Brite Crayon83
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Sure.

I think he could be ready to make a commitment like he did. I say when you move in see how things go, cuz then you really know the person, cuz you live with them. If things work out well and you get along just fine, there is nothing wrong with being engaged. People are engaged for a loooong time before they actually end up getting married. So just cuz he pops the question, dosent mean that you have to get married straight away.

Good luck tho, and I hope everything works out well.


Posts: 74 | From: Rhode Island, USA | Registered: May 2005  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
coolestdesignz
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quote:
My boyfriend is 18 and he's told me that next year after we move in together he wants to marry me.

How would you feel about getting married to him? It's every bit as much yours as his.

quote:
He's given me a promise ring, but I was just wondering, do you think a 18 year old boy can really be ready to settle down and get married?

Sure. Why not? I don't think that's the issue here. Are YOU ready to settle down and get married with HIM?

POINT:
It's not about him, completely. In fact, it's only half about him. If you wouldn't feel comfortable getting married to him right now, tell him. I'd say that a deep long-lerm committed relationship is at least as good as marriage.

If it doesn't sound like it's a great idea to you, just tell him you'd rather wait a while.

[This message has been edited by coolestdesignz (edited 06-06-2005).]


Posts: 203 | From: Laguna Niguel, CA, USA | Registered: May 2004  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
mini_minx
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I am very ready to commit to him. Both of us have issues which have made us closer together, and also more mature than other people our age. Neither of us is in a long term relationship for the first time, and we've both "experienced" a lot of life before getting together. I feel totally ready to commit to him, and he says he feels the same and i believe that, but certain issues in my past have made me worry that men can't be trusted, although i do trust him. I just wondered if people thought commiting young can be sucessful.
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coolestdesignz
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I think committing young can absolutely be successful. However, if one or both of you plan to go to college, it could get difficult. If you would be comfortable with it in every way, then do.
Posts: 203 | From: Laguna Niguel, CA, USA | Registered: May 2004  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
mini_minx
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WE're both finishing school this year but neither of us are going to college. We're both going to either work or do an in-job training scheme next year, when we will be living together.
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coolestdesignz
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Then I can't think of anything that might get in the way.
Posts: 203 | From: Laguna Niguel, CA, USA | Registered: May 2004  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Celtic Daisy
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This might not be what you want to hear, but you know you don't have to be married to be totally committed to one another. I think this is something the two of you should be really sure about, and judging by your first post, you don't sound totally convinced that he's really ready. There's no reason you can't be together and not be married. I'd suggest taking your time and talking things out with your partner. You're still both very young.

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Erin Jane
~Scarleteen Advocate~


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unidentifyed
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if your worried that hes not ready for marrige, then just live together and put marrige off for a while. see how that goes, you can still live together and love eachother the same wether you are married or just together. dont try to rush things. if it turns out hes not ready, at least you will realize it before making any mistakes.
Posts: 3 | From: Montgomery, TX , United States | Registered: May 2005  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
morganlh85
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If you have doubts, don't do it. I'm all for this philosophy; if you love eachother and really want to be together, there's absolutely no harm in waiting. But if you rush into things when you aren't really sure it's what you want, that can lead to disaster in the relationship.
Posts: 304 | From: Pittsburgh PA | Registered: Aug 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
   

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