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» Scarleteen Boards: 2000 - 2014 (Archive) » SCARLETEEN CENTRAL » Relationships » How many of you have gotten back with your ex?

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Author Topic: How many of you have gotten back with your ex?
SOMEBODY
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I was just curious to know, how many of you have gotte back with one of your ex's?
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twinklyc8782
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i have gone back to a few x's but its never worked out for me. Things just never felt the same :-)
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Gumdrop Girl
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I did, and things are working out great.

When we first went out about 6 or 7 years ago, it was just bad. He was struggling with terrible depression and I didn't know how to conduct a relationship because I hadn't ever been in one. I wound up having a lot of emo problems of my own (struggled with stress, eating disorder), and that was *really* bad. There was a huge lack of communications and well, it just collapsed. Like a lead balloon. THUD!

Then i went out with someone else for more then 3 years, learned a lot from that relationship. And eventually, it ended too.

So I got back with my ex. Dated him, but nothing serious. Just something for fun on weekends. His depression was mostly controlled (could be better with a little therapy; you can lead a horse to the psychologist, but you can't make him experience catharsis), and I had learned a lot of valuable lessons in my past relationship (especially about communication( that I was able to apply here.

and lo and behold, it works. We don't fight (in two years, just ONE argument). We have no drama. We talk to each other. He's sweet to me. We're happy. We've been going out 2 years.

So what went right here?
1. There was a BIG gap in between, not months but YEARS
2. We both learned a lot from our mistakes
3. We both grew up a lot
4. We are good about communicating

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Posts: 12677 | From: Los Angeles, CA ... somewhere off the 10 | Registered: Jul 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
scorry
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Tried to once get back with the first girl i loved, then got sick of the games she was playing with me at the time. So i decided to never date a girl more than once.

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"We cannot dwell on the past, we can only look forward to the future"


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Jenna D.
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Yup. We dated the spring/summer of 2004, but I went to England for my first year of university so we decided to end it but still be friends. When I came home for Christmas we spent a lot of time together and thought, "What the heck were we thinking?" and got back together again before I went back for second semester.

It was worse than the first time around. Long distance blows anyway, and he never put as much effort into it as I did, so I should have realised it would continue like that. He had a few moments, but that was about it. Eventually he dumped me right when my exams started and three weeks before I came home.

Looking at Gumdrop's list of things that went right for her, I can see EXACTLY why my 'reunion' went horribly horribly wrong.


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kitka
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Gumdrop Girl, I'm kind of in the same situation that you were, except it's only been a few months since we broke up.

If you don't mind answering this - when you got back together with your ex, which one of you made the first move to get back together? Did he break up with you, or you with him?

Lately my ex has gone from being cold to very friendly, but shy as always.


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mochachoco
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I try to make it a general rule for myself that I shouldn't go back to an ex.
We broke up for a reason of course.
There are some exceptions though.

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Gumdrop Girl
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quote:
Originally posted by kitka:
If you don't mind answering this - when you got back together with your ex, which one of you made the first move to get back together? Did he break up with you, or you with him?

i don't mind answering at all. I didn't get to be moderator by not answering ppl's Q?s

Getting back together with my ex was entirely my doing. I was rebounding pretty hard from my 3 year relationship with my college sweetheart, and all I wanted was just to hook up with a friend I really trusted. We went on dates after that, and it just worked out really well.

As for who instigated the breakup way back in the day? That was him.

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Toll free STD and clinic information, and condoms sent to your door for Los Angeles County residents.
1 in 3 sexually active people will be exposed to a STD by the time they turn 24.


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La_bratti
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I have gone back to an ex before...Only because I felt like we broke up prematurely and I felt a constant loss with out him... (Oh the drama)I agree that you usually break up for a reason, and depending on what that reason was should give you a pretty good idea if its worth another shot.
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kitka
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quote:
Originally posted by Gumdrop Girl:
I didn't get to be moderator by not answering ppl's Q?s

haha - thanks. i'm a scaredy-cat when it comes to being open about stuff like this & just assume other people will be too.

Getting back together with my ex was entirely my doing.


so maybe there's a little hope after all.
coolness!


[This message has been edited by kitka (edited 06-08-2005).]

[This message has been edited by kitka (edited 06-08-2005).]


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poppybluefrogs
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i got back with my ex not once but twice. we broke up cos we just had too much pressure on us from other things our life and our relationship has always been one we have to really work at to keep it going.

but once we've got back together we've found things are never the same as they used to be and to be honest with all of you, i miss what we had more than anything though i do love what we have now


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SOMEBODY
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I personally TRIED giving my ex a second chance but he never changed. I was with him for a year and he cheated on me with another girl. ABout 2 years later, he tried getting back with me and I thought that in 2 years he had changed, but he didnt. He was always and still is the same cheater that I always knew. And even though he cheated on me and treated me like crap, I still continue to love him with all my heart. How sad! :-(

[This message has been edited by SOMEBODY (edited 06-15-2005).]


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Pooky
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Gumdrop's experience is almost exactly like mine... well, at least the first experience situation. My boyfriend and I got along perfectly, yet he suffered from depression horribly, and whenever he felt bad, he just...gave up. We dated for a few months, he broke it off cause he didn't feel right with it, and oh, he just "didnt love me like he used to", and about a month later he came back. He was claiming it wasn't the same without me, it would be different, and that he was willing to try. Well, that lasted about a month, and then, lo and behold, the same thing happened as before!! Everyone told me I treated him well, we haven't spoken in a month since then. It seems like things are destined to repeat, though, my urge to find someone new is now stronger than my desire to reunite with him.
I guess everything depends on the situations. If any ex were willing to grow up or reform old mistakes, I'm sure things could work. If they don't, but give you false promises, run. Run live you've never run before. ;-)

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~jess~
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i got back with my ex, sorta. we were in 7th grade, we dated for almost 6 months then his parents decided he was too young to date. then he'd ask me out, i, being the idiot I was, would say yes. we wouldnt talk or hang out, then he'd dump me a week later. this went on for a few months. dont ask me why I let it go on for so long. that whole "relationship" was pointless.

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my bucket of tears


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xXLovealwaysnforeverXx
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I've definately gotten back together with my ex.. we were on and off for far too long.. and he ended up decieving me each time.. It's hard but it's as if I was too afraid to move on.. I should have seen it the first time.. but i definately moved on and I've been with my current boyfriend for 9 months and things are going great..
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SOMEBODY
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To what I see, there's actually positive, and negative experiences with getting back with your ex's. I wish my ex wouldnt be the 'cheater' that he is because I would have LOVED to work things out with him again. Even after all he's done, I still feel like I cant EVER love ANYBODY like I loved him.
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Jackie69
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I was with my ex for 3 years and broke up for a stup1d reason. We were broken up for 1 year and just got back together. It has been going great. I love him so much!
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spartian for life30
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yeah probaly like 5 times each time i wanted ot feel what was there but it got shorter and shorter time. we just couldent bring back what was once there
Posts: 6 | From: st. louis, mo, us | Registered: Jul 2005  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
cutie_babe
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I got back with my ex boyfriend. We had been going for for 3 years and the he broke up with me, I had no idea it was coming. We only broke up for 5 days. But that really showed me how much i love him. I love him now more then I ever did. I think it was a really good wake up for me.
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summergoddess
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I've personally never gotten back with ANY of my exes. There's always a reason(s) of why the breakups occured.

My last ex. After we broke up, we had "friends with benefits" but it was almost effective after we broke up. So we weren't dating or anything. Just mainly a sexual friend. We had learned in our relationship that we werne't meant to be lovers and not quite friends but we had sexual attraction to each other (and we had lost our virginities to each other). We dated for a month as a couple and had the sex-friends thing for 2 months after (all this in 2001). I started dating my fiance after i ended things for good with my ex and i've been with him for over 4 years now.

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~Jules


Posts: 369 | From: Ontario, Canada | Registered: Jan 2003  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
   

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