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» Scarleteen Boards: 2000 - 2014 (Archive) » SCARLETEEN CENTRAL » Relationships » How much time?

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Author Topic: How much time?
113533
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I was just wondering how much time everyone here tends to spend with their significant other each week. I guess, when it boils down to it, my boyfriend and I are with each other at least 40 hours per week. That seems like a lot, and I guess it kind of is. So, we've decided to start spending more time with different friends as to make sure we dont end up getting sick of each other and breaking up, because we both definitely want our relationship to last. Keep in mind we've been doing this for about 6 months. So anyways, how much time?
Posts: 169 | From: Phoenix, AZ | Registered: Jun 2004  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
dailicious
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I used to spend a lot more time with my boyfriend than I do now. In the little over a year we've been together we went from spending practically every day together to now only seeing eachother once or twice a week for a couple hours. I'm really busy with school right now, and he's working two jobs to pay rent and car payments and the like.

We decided along the line that we should spend less time being just with eachother, because it is very important to have space and personal time and to be two individuals in a relationship, rather than a couple everywhere you go. Basically what you and your boyfriend seem to be doing now. It's a good thing to do, in my opinion, because the time you do spend together means more since it's not a given, daily thing.

I think the saying, "Absence makes the heart grow fonder," holds a lot of weight in the time you spend with your signifigant other. I really don't like being able to only see my boyfriend once every four days or more days sometimes, but every time I see him I feel so much better and more grateful to be with him.

We actually may be living together this summer. The time we'd spend together then still wouldn't be a lot more than it is now, though, because we'd both be working full-time.


Posts: 3382 | From: Denver, Colorado | Registered: Mar 2005  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Cactus9
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I'd say less than 12 hours a week on average. We see each other during school, but don't have much time to talk except for in the morning. On the weekends, we only hang out for about a day, as we're both really occupied with school.

I agree with Dailicious, more personal time gives more weight to the time you spend with your significant other.


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Sedi Tlugvi
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Hmmm, my boyfriend and I generally see each other for 10 minutes in the morning...And hour or so in the day...And at least four or five hours on the weekend...So, all together, about 12 hours. lol. Not too bad. We talk for about 30 mins. to an hour each night, however. If it was up to be, I'd be attached to his hip, though!
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Gumdrop Girl
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Well, my guy and I are pretty busy folks. And we've got 50 miles of heavy traffic separating us (it can exceed 2 hours of drive time). With fuel prices the way they are, we gotta make that time count.

We spend the night at each others' houses a lot. Mostly on weekends. So we see each other maybe once a week, but that'll be maybe 24 hours together. Add in maybe 15-30 minutes on the phone every other night. 30 hours a week tops. We give each other plenty of space with all that time in between.

So maybe in addition to measuring in hours per week, how about looking at how you distribute your time together?

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Posts: 12677 | From: Los Angeles, CA ... somewhere off the 10 | Registered: Jul 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
KittenGoddess
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I'm not sure I could give you a number...hmmm, if I could, it would be a lot. However, my boy and I share a car now (his broke down a long time ago, long story), so our transportation and living situations necessitate more time spent together right now. We've been together for several years though and all the togetherness doesn't really seem to cause a problem. When we need to do things with other people or not as a couple, we do them. No problem. We're also pretty good at being "together-alone" as I like to term it. We can be in the same space (my house, his house, the library, my office, etc.) without being "together." Maybe part of the reason this works for us is that we had a long distance relationship for several years, so we've been apart. "Absence makes the heart grow fonder" doesn't do much for us because we've been there and done that and we don't want to do it anymore. I still get excited when I see him at the end of the day because I will never forget how it felt to be away from him for 4 months or more at a time. So we're not attached at the hip, but we do spend a lot of time together. And that seems to work for us. We see each other in the morning, at night, and sometimes during the day.

I think the bottom line comes down to deciding what works best in YOUR relationship. If 4 hours a week makes you happy, that's cool...if 14 hours makes you happier, that's great too...or even 40 hours. You really have to make your own decisions about it.

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Sarah Liz
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113533
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Gumdrop: what do you mean by how we distribute our time??

Everyone else: thanks for your input. I know we're gonna do whatever is best for us, it's just that change is hard sometimes, but I'll just have to get used to it.


Posts: 169 | From: Phoenix, AZ | Registered: Jun 2004  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Gumdrop Girl
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What I mean by distributing the time you spend together is how much time you spend with each other versus how much time you spend doing other things or with other people.

In my case, even if I spend 24 or 48 consecutive hours with my boyfriend, that's one or two days a week. the rest of my week centers on me-time, work and friends. I try not to neglect people. While my boyfriend is important to me, I have a lot of stuff going on beyond him.

The problem a lot of people run into during relationships (whether dating, marriage or whatever) is that they lose their social circle. They lose touch with friends. That's bad. We need friends. Lots of studies show that the stronger and bigger your social network is, the healthier and happier you will be.

Change doesn't have to be tough. You can start by having group outings with lots of mutual friends. Then start weaning away from each other. Y'know, going to the mall with friends and letting him go shoot hoops with his friends. and the like.

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LA County STD Hotline 1.800.758.0880
Toll free STD and clinic information, and condoms sent to your door for Los Angeles County residents.
1 in 3 sexually active people will be exposed to a STD by the time they turn 24.


Posts: 12677 | From: Los Angeles, CA ... somewhere off the 10 | Registered: Jul 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Aria51
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I live with mine, so there are maybe eight to ten hours of every day that we *aren't* together, be it because we're working or because one of us went out with friends for the evening. Every once in a while I'll go spend a weekend with my mother and sister, too; for us, giving eachother a chance to breathe and be alone, and having a chance to miss eachother is extremely important.
Posts: 1287 | From: Missouri | Registered: Jul 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
   

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