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» Scarleteen Boards: 2000 - 2014 (Archive) » SCARLETEEN CENTRAL » Relationships » don't know how to act around boys

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Author Topic: don't know how to act around boys
Member # 21909

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Thanks to a series of unfortunate coincidences, I've never really spent much time with boys. There were no boys in the neighbourhood where I grew up, I never had any brothers, all my close friends were always girls, and I've been at an all-girls school since I was eleven. My friends don't have this problem because they have male friends outside of school, but I was always too shy a person to make any of my own.

It never worried me too much that I never had a boyfriend. I know it'll happen for me eventually.

My problem is that I have zero experience being around guys. I get REALLY nervous around them - even when I don't find them attractive or anything. I just don't know how to act, or how to talk to them. It's different somehow from being with girls.

[ 04-07-2006, 04:39 PM: Message edited by: thestripes ]

Posts: 21 | Registered: Feb 2005  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
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Member # 5640

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Know what? There is no set way to act around boys. For the most part, the so-called gender divide isn't nearly as wide as many people would like to think and lead other's to believe. Even though you happen to have different bits and pieces, for the most part, people of all genders will find that they have common interests, which is far more important in sparking conversation and developing relationships than any stereotypical vision of how the different genders "act" around one-an-other.

So, really, the best way to quell your nervousness? IMHO, I'd say you should enter the situation trying as hard as you can to get rid of this notion that there is some sort of fundamental difference between the genders, because for the most part, that's really just not true.

Instead, be your self. Trust me, just because they're guys and you happen to be a girl, there's no seperate set of protocols and standards that you've got to follow when interacting with them. Just try to keep it in your mind that not-so-deep down, you and people of the other gender are bound to have common interests, and maybe just maybe, common perspectives and similar insights.

We're all just human, ya know, even if your naught bits come in different flavors.

Tim, as in "Donate"

"It's a new dawn, it's a new day, it's a new life for me... and I'm feeling good."

Posts: 712 | From: Michigan, US | Registered: Oct 2001  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Member # 21722

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wow you seem new at this ...
dont worry if the guys you will be around are nice and cool then you can act any way you want, but preferable act you'r self be you'r sefl and dont let any one bring you down. walk around with you'r head held high! you'll love it ...

and it will help if you tease them aswell, like walk around like the sexy female that you are and know it too, you have power over guys, they are puddy in you'r hands. be strong, be tough, even be cocky if you have to , but most importantly BE YOU'R SELF!!! ....just with a little spice!....good luck

hope i helped!!!

Posts: 34 | From: Hamilton | Registered: Jan 2005  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Member # 21948

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As the above posters have said, just be yourself. There aren't really any "rules." Have fun!


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Member # 18318

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what everyone else said is great - be yourself! and make sure you stop and think about things. i have a friend who was in a similar situation, but switching to coed highschool, and she ended up having a few sexual encounters she now regrets. she didn't know when she wanted to say "no" because she'd never really been faced with that before. but that's just her experience. i'm sure you'll do just fine!
Posts: 26 | From: Canada | Registered: May 2004  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator

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