Hey there. Just thought you might like to hear from someone who's been there themself.
I've suffered from environmentally-caused depression my whole life. Depression can take on one of two main forms: Some people have a chemical inbalance in their brain, while others have unsually unfortunate and difficult life siuations. The latter, I refer to as environmentally-caused, and it sounds like your boyfriend has this as I do.
The best thing I've ever done for myself is see a therapist. Mind you, I had many horrible experiences with therapists in my younger life. But I am incredibly fortunate to have someone I can go to every week and spill my guts. She cares. She listens. She understands. And she helps me. She is like the mother I have never and will never have. She has made me realize that it is actually possible for people to care about me. And I've come so far. See, I began fighting my depression on my own terms because it is NOT something I want for myself, but you can only get so much accomplished that way if you've lived in negativity your whole life. Negative environments and events transfer to negative thoghut processes and attitude, so it stays with you. Sometimes you need a little assistance to sort through things and pull yourself from the dark and lonely place you've been residing.
That said, perhaps you can gently recommend to your guy that he see a therapist? Or, more specifically, what I see is a certified social worker. Anyways, it sounds like he has a lot he may be longing to get off his chest so he can live without that dark, sinking feeling always clawing at his neck. Therapists are best to open up to because as far as your relationship is concerned with them, their sole responsibility is to help you. You are this guy's girlfriend. You may or may not be a temporary instillment in his life. You can help by lending your support, but don't get dragged down yourself in the process. I've made that mistake before- by giving someone too much sympathy I became depressed . But my point is that he may need someone for the sole purpose of talking to and getting help overcoming his melancholy state.
Also, people sometimes need encouragement to just open up, and some people find therapists great for this purpose.
It is very sweet of you to be concerned with his feelings and how your actions may or may not affect them. My best advice is to recommend therapy to him- you can plant the idea in his head, he will have to make whatever choices he believes will be best for himself. If he ever becomes really quiet and you can tell he's depressed, you might want to encourage him to talk instead of keep anything inside. If he changes the subject, this probably isn't a good sign. Avoidance of pain does not lead to gain! Oh god, I just rhymed. Well I wish the best to you both- I'm concerned about your boyfriend and my heart goes out to him! I also know how hard it can be to be exposed to someone who is suffering, and that isn't easy either. Take care.
but in the end is right
i hope you had the
time of your life"