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» Scarleteen Boards: 2000 - 2014 (Archive) » SCARLETEEN CENTRAL » Relationships » help!!

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Author Topic: help!!
aaliyah4lifemissu
Neophyte
Member # 13179

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i just have 2 lil dilemmas between my mom
and my boyfriend and my career...ok,here goes:i asked my mother what if i
had a black boyfriend(my man's black)and she said she dont like
guys wit earrings/tattoos,so now I cant tell her i have a man
cuz 1.he's black and 2.he has earrings and 3.i love him
what should i do?
dilemma#2:i told my family that i wanna be a producer and they
say its too much sh-- to go thru and it takes madd long to get the job
i want..what should i do,go on and be what i wanna be or what?

Posts: 1 | Registered: May 2003  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
smilee_kylie
Activist
Member # 20046

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I really think it is unfair for your family to get in the way of your dreams. If you want to be a producer, go for it! No one should stop you from doing that. You never know, you may become a really well-established producer and suddenly your family will realise how wrong they were!

As for your boyfriend, that is quite a hard issue. You said that your mum doesn't like guys with earrings/tattoos but you didn't say whether she is against black people. If she wouldn't like your boyfriend based on skin colour or because he has some earrings, that is just silly. If he was in a white man's bpdy without earrings, he'd still be the same person. Personally, i don't think your mum's opinion on who she likes should affect who you go out with. Unless it severely effects your family in some way, it shouldn't really matter. Discussing this with your mum could help and if she saw you really cared about this guy and encourage her that he is a good guy despite appearances she may grow to like him.

If you are under 18 and your parents/mum disallow you from seeing him or pursuing further into a producing career there isn't much you can do but the best thing is to let her know how you feel and what is important to you.


Posts: 58 | From: Australia | Registered: Sep 2004  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Gumdrop Girl
Scarleteen Volunteer
Member # 568

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Good luck going into production. I live in LA. I know a lot of people who are struggling to get their toehold in the entertainment industry. Want to get into music production? Here are a few routes:
  • get to know people who make music (independent artists just starting out, like your friends and stuff) and spend time with them in a studio
  • there are trade schools that teach recording arts. enroll and take classes
  • get a job at a radio station and work your way up

    do you know anything about music? are you musically literate? do you play any instruments? these things matter. you need a really good ear to be a producer. you can't just turn a few knobs or slide a few switches and expect music to come out without knowing how to make some from scratch yourself.

    lastly, i hope you have friends in the right places. networking is super important when it comes to getting anywhere. Don't expect to be hugely famous. For every one mega-producer who hits it big (P.Diddy, Pharrell Williams, Daniel Lanois, Nigel Godrich, Steve Albini, Phil Spector, Butch Vig, etc.), there are many who never even see their names in the liner notes.

    Other than that, good luck.

    Hey, you did'nt say if your mother disapproved of black people. You just said she doesn't like earrings. Well, earrings can be removed. Covering up black skin, however is another matter. People havether negative sterotypes about certain kinds of people because there'll always be some dumbass to perpetuate them. But if your guy can put a good face forward, that impression can do a lot to change someone's mind. Little things like having really good table manners, good speech (with proper grammar, no slang and definitely no cursing) and proper dress go a really long way. If you're bold, and he's willing to put in the effort, you two can make an impressive debut with your mother.

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    Posts: 12677 | From: Los Angeles, CA ... somewhere off the 10 | Registered: Jul 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
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